10
   

How big an age difference is OK in sex scenes/creative writing

 
 
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 10:48 am
I'm writing a story with a twenty something girl and a 14 yo boy. I'm wondering if this feels about right or if the age difference might putting some people off.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 10 • Views: 2,365 • Replies: 43

 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 10:57 am
@WriterDude,
Well first of all, sex with a minor is illegal.
0 Replies
 
Cycloptichorn
 
  2  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 10:57 am
@WriterDude,
Yeah. Major cringe man

Cycloptichorn
WriterDude
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 11:10 am
@Cycloptichorn,
Well how big of an age disparity is OK then? Because kids have sex too. But doesn't things like that happen in real life, and get reported?

I'm under the impression that it's better if the woman is older, is this true?

What would you say is OK girl 20, boy 14? girl 17, boy 14, girl 16, boy 15? Or what?
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 11:11 am
@WriterDude,
It's going to depend on what you're going for with your story.

If you are looking for shock value, then don't even ask. If you are looking for something romantic, however, then the boy in this instance is a minor and would be a major turn-off for a lot of readers.

And another thing: when your character is in her twenties, she's a woman and not a girl.

Language matters when we write.
0 Replies
 
centrox
 
  0  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 11:17 am
Maybe it could be justifiable if the theme, as in the well-known novel by Vladimir Nabokov, was how the older person is a revolting self-excusing sleazebag, and how nothing good could come of the nasty business. Great pains would need to be taken to avoid any hint of titillation. Quite frankly, if you need to ask such a question on a site like this, I don't think you would be up to that task.
WriterDude
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 11:27 am
@centrox,
Well one of the reasons I ask is because I want to know how much I can get away with. In order for my story to work he has to be at least somewhat younger, but maybe I could make him a little bit older. The story is about a woman who has an affair with a boy who finds her sexy, this initially happens without her spouse knowing, yet he has his suspicions.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 11:29 am
@WriterDude,
WriterDude wrote:
I'm under the impression that it's better if the woman is older


better than what?
WriterDude
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 11:32 am
@ehBeth,
Better than if it's the man that's older, that would be more frowned upon.
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 11:46 am
@WriterDude,
I think you are incorrect in that belief.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 11:49 am
@WriterDude,
Abuse of power in relationships is generally frowned upon.

Just looking at pop media, you see more coverage of women going to jail for sexual abuse of younger men/boys than coverage of men abusing boys. That could be a good thing for your book, but in real life those women are scorned.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 12:02 pm
I had always avoided reading Nabokov, because Lolita was underage. I was unaware, until I googled just now, how young she really was. It's worse than I thought.
WriterDude
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 12:09 pm
@edgarblythe,
So would you say 14 is alright? 15, 16...? Say something that's alright.
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 12:15 pm
@WriterDude,
Even a couple of years older than the age of consent is uncomfortable for me.
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 12:40 pm
@WriterDude,
WriterDude wrote:

I'm writing a story with a twenty something girl and a 14 yo boy. I'm wondering if this feels about right or if the age difference might putting some people off.


Is the context of the story in any way important for this kind of situation. Does their age impact the story or are you trying to go for some kind of shock value? It seems socially that it doesn't seem to be as extreme for the woman to be older than the male, even though it's still frowned upon. But if it were switched around, it will really offend people.

But I am more curious of the story. It must be related in some way or else why even have it in there? So the context for me is important. I know its taboo of a situation but the context is where the point is. Or at least I hope it's there or you might want to rethink being an author.
centrox
 
  3  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 12:47 pm
@Krumple,
Krumple wrote:
It seems socially that it doesn't seem to be as extreme for the woman to be older than the male, even though it's still frowned upon. But if it were switched around, it will really offend people.

Where I live, I think opinion is increasingly seeing all sexual exploitation of kids by adults as wrong and criminal, whatever the sexes.
0 Replies
 
WriterDude
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 12:49 pm
@Krumple,
It's a story about a woman who cheats on her spouse. The boy gets infatuated with her, and she lets things go where they naturally go. It's important to the story that he's younger, because that creates conflicts (with parents...) and contrast (with older spouse...)
centrox
 
  3  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 12:53 pm
Surely if you have to ask people on a web site what is OK to write about, you aren't really a writer?
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 01:21 pm
@WriterDude,
Are you sure you're writing a book? It sounds more like you are fishing for pervs.
0 Replies
 
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Dec, 2017 01:25 pm
@WriterDude,
WriterDude wrote:

It's a story about a woman who cheats on her spouse. The boy gets infatuated with her, and she lets things go where they naturally go. It's important to the story that he's younger, because that creates conflicts (with parents...) and contrast (with older spouse...)


Wait. Okay conflicts of parents needs to be explained a bit more. Because is she trying to cause the problems? That is her motive? If it is her motive why is it her motive? What is her goal by causing this conflict?

Part of story telling should involve the reader. If the reader doesn't relate in some way or find their own life experiences as having a tie in to the character, the reader will reject the character. I'm not saying that they need to be identical. What I am saying is if the reader doesn't understand the characters motivation they can't identify with that character and will refuse to sympathize with the character. If the story requires that the reader sympathize with that character then your story will be tossed in the garbage can. All stories are a play on psychology. If you break those rules then your readers will refuse to play along.
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » How big an age difference is OK in sex scenes/creative writing
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 08/18/2019 at 07:23:44