Sending a thank you card is my gift to the giver and I love getting them as well. I taught my daughter to do the same. I even send a written thank you after a dinner party. I never feel I can express my gratefulness just verbally.
Oh me too me too!
(Gift giving horror stories, horror at lack of thanks, making thank-you cards with the kid, all of it.)
I have two younger cousins, now teenagers, who get harder to buy for every year. Last year, knowing that the girls had new bedrooms with themes of a) zebra stripes and orange, and b) coral reef, I handpainted each of them a trio of wood frames 4X6 photo frames in their preferred theme. I worked really hard on them, they looked quite cool. That side of my family has a gathering that I rarely am able to attend in Minnesota, and as usual I wasn't there. I got a report from my mom, who was there, that the girls loved the frames -- that's nice -- but didn't hear a word from either of them. This is just the latest in a long run for them. NEVER one single thank-you card.
This year, they each got gift certificates to Old Navy. (Haven't heard anything for that, either, but oh well.)
Meanwhile, for my dad and his wife I sent an email with a complete appreciation of everything they gave (we had Christmas in person, had already thanked in person, I see email as follow-up), and got emails back from them singling out one thing (as it happens, the grandparent version of "Sozlet Stories 2004") but nothing else. Eh, I guess that's not so bad, they'd already thanked me in person for the rest. But I did have a "hello, I gave you 10 OTHER things too!" reaction.
I do exactly the same thing with sozlet, have her make the cards (usually a drawing of her with the person doing some activity), have her dictate something that I write down, and then I fill in a bit if necessary/ coach her, and then she signs her name.
That's so cool that your daughter does it on her own now CJ, good parenting!
Totally on the thank-you for thank-you's thing. We were up to 8 thank-you for thank-yous (4 each) when a friend and I called a moratorium -- enough!! Then of course we thanked each other for understanding... :-)
This may be weird, but I always send thank you cards for my children’s birthday gifts whether they attended the party and could be thanked in person or whether the gift was mailed. For Christmas, I typically only send thank you cards to those that sent gifts; those we were unable to say thank you in person. Since Christmas is such a hectic time and then beginning in Jan. I am so busy at work, I have little time. During birthdays, I am also able to make sure I make note of who sent what, whereas sometimes at Christmas with everyone receiving gifts that it is more difficult to keep an accurate list. I usually remember those sorts of things, but as I do not have it 100% confirmed, I would hate to thank some one for the wrong gift. We always acknowledge receipt of the gift – if given in person, my children always thanks the giver and if in the mail, we always follow up with a phone call where my child can thank the sender and later send a thank you letter.
Also, I typically write the thank yous – never thought of the picture thing. However, next year my older daughter will be old enough to write on her own.
Ok, here goes. I'm a thank you card slacker. I make sure that verbal thanks are always given, but we only do thank yous when the giver is very far away. And sometimes, I forget. <ducks under the desk>
My sister sends thank you cards for everything. And I mean everything. It's always a surprise to me because I've already forgotton that I got her something. Maybe it's just because my brain is made of swiss cheese.
I'm ressurecting this old thread because I have a new thank you card question....
Do I need to send thank you cards to the people who came to Mo's birthday party?
I confess that in the chaos I lost track of who sent what. We asked people to just bring seeds for the garden but some brought little gardening things too. And, most of the gifts came from kids.
Sooo. Whadya think?
It's done either way boomer.
Personally, I would send cards, it's just a nicer gesture,
and some of Mo's buddies came a long way - so just taking
out the time and showing up is worth a thank you! At least
it would be to me.
I'd send cards--at least to the kids. At that age a piece of mail is a big deal. Even "occupant" mail is a big deal. Besides, the mama's who want their kids to send Thank Yous will bless you forever.
Didn't you say that you took lots of pictures of guests with the Birthday Boy?
Okay then!
Yes I took photos and I should have them back tomorrow, but I could put a little card together, no problem, using the photos on my computer.
Is it okay not to thank them for a specific gift? Can I just say "Thank you for coming to my party and for the fun present?" Something like that?
I'd do it! I agree with Noddy that kids love getting a piece of mail especially for them! I used to be overjoyed at anything specially addressed to me when I was a kid - it made my day/week/month!
I think Thank-you-card sending is a lost tradition and it is lovely that you have brought it to Moes world.
This reminds me of what a slacker I have become where cards and especially thank-you cards are concerned. I really need to go and get a couple of cards for friends, family, parents and send them a just-because card. It means so much!
And yeah, you don't have to specify the exact present (especially if things were chaotic and you can't remember who brought what).
Talk about how great it was to see the kid and the kid won't quibble about "great present".
I wouldn't go overboard with a special card for the occasion--you might deter a Pen Pal relationship with a kid with a less talented mother. Stick the photos inside the envelope.
Absolutely. Include a picture or have fun with it yourself and put together a little booklet of photos and who could ask for more??!! But let Mo sign it too.
Noddy is so right about kids getting mail. I looooovvvvved to get mail, any kind of mail, as a child and guess what? Even now, going out to the mailbox is still a highlight of my day.
Great advice already. And yeah, totally fine to not be specific.
I'd do it too, Boom, and you can figure out some general wording of appreciation that isn't specific.
I've always figured that society seems to forgive boys and men re thank you notes/phonecalls/emails.. Poopity head on that.
I too gave up, after years of finding the right gifts for my cousins' children, all boys. A phone call would have been nice, even once.
Well, I'm still fond of them all. But I was often strapped for funds when I was buying or devising those presents, and I am not doing it at all for the next generation.
I think the whole joy of getting mail to you, and nice mail at that, is a great lesson in communication. Doesn't ever have to be fancy..
I'll always remember my aunt's little cards to me - she always did a tiny drawing at the bottom of the usual drugstore flowery card, and that is part of what made her special to me.
Oh I know!
We made this largish sign that said "Mo's Garden" and we had everyone who came to the party sign the sign. I could take a photo of that and put it on the front of the card with some note to the effect of thanking them for their contribution to Mo's friends and family garden.
That might take care of the gift aspect. Then, on the inside I could say thanks for coming to the party, blah, blah, blah.
I think that will work!
Oh.
When two kids from the same house came should they each get a card since getting cards seems to really be the point.
And if their parent's came will their kid's getting a card be enough?
I'd say to send a card to each child in a family. As for the parents, I wouldn't bother with that. Wasn't it about the kids anyway?
Absolutely send a card to each kid. Only one can open an envelope. Only one can "read" it first....
And the younger the kids, the more important separate cards are.
Yeah. I think so too.
So I'll send a card to each kid who came and then to his bio-people.
I made up a card with a photo of the sign and a message that says "Thanks for making my friends and family garden such a fun and wonderful and beautiful place to be!"
Then on the inside I'll write "Thank you for coming to my party" along with a little personal message and help Mo sign it.
That should do it, don't you think?
How is Mo at drawing?
Tomatoes? Flowers? Pumpkins?
That way if the art object doesn't fit the birthday present everybody but the kids will understand.
