Thank you cards.

Boomerang--

I adore you--and your vicious, upper-middle class shilobbeths of child rearing.


Seven Christmas's ago I bought, wrapped--and in several cases mailed--presents for 42 people. My mother said, "Thank you." Mr Noddy's mother said, "Thank you." My own sons--and a daughter-in-law said, "Thank you."

As for the stepsons, step-daughter's-in-law and step grandchildren, not one word. Also, they did not contact their father in any way during the holiday season--not a present, not a Christmas card, not a phone call.

I said very sweetly, "No more. I quit." And I have. Christmas is much simpler than it used to be.

Making that dear little boy sit down at the table with a stack of paper and a brand new box of crayons (or markers) and helping him inform people that love him that he appreciates their gifts is a wonderful idea.

I made my sons create Thank You Notes from toddlerhood on. While they were under my roof, the stepsons learned they were supposed to say, "Thank you," but their mother, aka The Cowbird because of her child-rearing skills, said that such formality wasn't necessary.

They had a choice of roads. So did I.

You are not some doddering old codger who is manic on manners. You are a jewel, a gem, and a joy; a treat and a treasure; a Virtuous Woman and a Paragon of Maternal Perfection.

If everyone lit just one little candle
What a bright world this would be.

Hold your dominion.

I love to get thank you cards. Especially from children. My girlfriends' twin girls were Scouts and they included thank you notes with each cookie order.

In the words of Noddy, hold your dominion.

I always send them...and this happened twice: I got a reply thanking me for my "thank you" card

Thank you for those kind words, Noddy! I'm positively glowing!

After years of unacknowleged gifts I hung it up a bit this year by sending Aids braclets and St. Jude Target gift cards. At least I know my gift did a little good somewhere.

Really, most of the time I don't even know if my gifts were received. I don't expect a thank you card but heck, a email from the parents letting me know the gift arrived would be nice.

I think I would like getting thank you cards, eoe, but I don't know if I'll ever find out!

Colorbook, I have had more people call to thank me for thank you cards than I ever have for gifts I've sent!

We do send thank you cards as well. My daughter also
started out with drawing a picture while I took care of
the written part. Now she's 9 years old and does both -
drawing and writing. In fact she just finished writing all
her thank you cards for her christmas presents.

When she was small, she named her stuffed animals and
dolls in honor after the people who'd given it to her. The teddy bear was called "Harry", the doll "Cindy" and so on.

Being appreciative and thankful is something that is taught
at home, and unfortunately many parents don't feel inclined to teach their children propper manners.

You know, you're right, Calamity Jane. It really is about teaching kids to be aprreciative -- much more even than it is about manners.

I like that idea of naming the gift after the giver.

We just finished our cards today which is what made me think to ask what others thought of thank you cards. I'm curious - is it just automatic for her now or does she require prodding to get it done.

(I like your new avatar! The other one seemed like a warning. No offense meant.)

boomerang,

because she has received such positive responses
of her selfmade cards, she's quite eager to send thank you notes, and yes, by now it has become a habbit (which was my intention anyways).

For children I think it is important that the receipient of
the thank you card acknowledges the card and praises
the child. It encourages them to continue....

(Thank you for the compliment. The other was a New Years
hangover warning, hehe.)

I have two newspaper delivery people. Both give adequate service. One always writes and thanks me for the Christmas tip--the other does not.

Surprise? One gets a slightly larger tip.

Thats a good point, Calamity Jane. I will have to make sure Mo hears how happy everyone was to receive his card.

We have the best garbage man in the world. Every Tuesday since Mo moved in he has risen early, dressed without hesitation and waited by the window with his garbage scissors (kitchen tongs) so that we can chase the garbage man around the block and watch his truck pick up all of the cans.

When we heard that his wife had given birth to twins we bought a little present to give them just as a way to say thanks for being so cool. He "lets" us help him sweep up any spills, take the lid off of cans, all kinds of fun stuff.

He will pick up my yard debris even when it isn't yard debris day!

This Christmas we gave him a very nice tip and a thank you card for providing our Tuesday morning excercise and entertainment.

Since we are putting in a garden next spring I'm sure I will need his yard debris help and I think I'll be sure to get it.

Our neighbor boy did that too when he was around 4 years old. First, he'd watch the garbage truck and a few hours later the recycler came and little Ryan was in heaven. His
eyes lit up every time, he'd see a garbage truck somewhere.
His mother drove him to new construction sites so he could see the cement mixers and other equipment in action.

Ha! We do that too!

Every year the parks department here hosts "Big Truck Day" so the kids can climb all over the trucks, honk the horns, all that. They even hand out earplugs to the parents!

That sounds great. Like something we should have here.

Big truck day is a blast.

The story goes that an intern at the parks department thought it up. It started small but now its huge. Supposedly, it is a big moneymaker for the parks department too - we always have to buy a "Big Truck Day" t-shirt.

Not only does the city bring one of each truck but a lot of business that have big trucks come too. I think Mr. B is going to take his big truck next year.

Okiedokie, I'm one of the bad guys. I have sent thank you cards in the past, but they were usually in response to mailed gifts, not gifts recieved while with the giver (does that make sense). Because, I could and did say thank you in the moment, I didn't feel I had to write a note.

I don't send xmas cards either. I rarely get out birthday cards. I do send ecards to those who I know have internet access.

And, I think (could be wrong on this) that I have only recieved thank you cards for wedding gifts given.

littlek--

After years of not knowing that my package arrived--let alone that it was appreciated--I just quit.

I would have been happy with a phone call if assembling a pen and paper and envelope and stamp was much too complicated.

Life is simpler under the new policy: No Thanks? No Gift.

Well, like I said, recieving a mailed package is a whole different story. Then it makes perfect sense to me to write a thank you note or make a phone call.

That is an interesting distinction, little k.

I don't always feel obligated to send a card when I am able to thank the giver in person.

My family, and Mr. B's family don't really give gifts to the grown ups anyway so sending personal thank yous is not an issue.

I send personal thank yous when someone has really gone out of their way to help me or show me a special time -- times where a verbal thank you don't seem quite adequate.

For Mo, with his complicated family, and with my family and Mr. B's family sending him gifts by mail it really seems necessary to acknowledge them with a card. Like I said at the beginning of this post, all of my unacknowledged gifts are the reason I'm such a stickler on this.

And like Calamity Jane said - teaching kids to appreciate what their given is a big deal.

I have two nieces who have a very rich father. A few years ago I spent a little more than I should have and sent them some really beautiful earrings. I never heard a word.

A few months later their father was visiting us and I asked how the girls liked the earrings.

The reply?

"There is so much crap under that Christmas tree that they don't know who sends what."

I don't send them gifts anymore.

Nice, I wouldn't send them gifts either.

Yeah, no kidding.

I have many gift giving horror stories.