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Mon 15 May, 2017 06:16 pm
Hello everyone. I'm in need of some opinions please. First I'll give a bit of background.
My grandfather set my 2 cousins and I as beneficiaries on his retirement accounts (Roth IRA, Traditional IRA, and brokerage account). We were equal 3 way beneficiaries.
About a year ago, one of my cousins was diagnosed with cancer. She died in Jaunary. My grandfather died Feb 20. About 4 weeks after my cousin. We was in a good state of mind etc when he passed.
Well, come to find out, the way my grandfather set up it, if one of us beneficiaries died, then it would be a 50% split. Each beneficiary getting an equal amount.
Well my cousin that died, her family thinks I need to give her portion to them. They state it is theirs since my cousin passed.
I've been told that legally, it is mine to keep. The way my grandfather set it up, this is how the money gets split. I think for me, I just want to know if I'm doing the write thing. I mean, I have younger kids to take care of. She only had 1 child, who is now 26.
I mean, if my grandfather wanted the money to go to her family in the event she died, wouldn't he have changed it it? She was diagnosed with terminal cancer over a year ago...
Opinions please!! Thank you.
@jgrullon5415,
I'm sure inheritance laws vary from state to state. Probably best you consult an attorney in your area.
Like I said, I've already been told that legally it is my money to keep. I want more of an opinion on a moral level. I mean, I kind of feel bad, but at the same time, it's legally mine. What would you do?
@jgrullon5415,
My understanding is that IRAs are simply not a part of the probate estate.
@roger,
You are right, the IRA accounts bipassed probate altogether, because the beneficiary assignments bipass everything else.
My cousins family simply want me to write a check for the amount that my cousin would have gotten if it was a 3 way split.
@jgrullon5415,
I'm sure they do. Keep in mind that if you fall for it, your check is a gift and subject to federal gift tax rules. The tax is paid by the giver, not the receiver.
@roger,
Yes, I've read about that. I feel like it is mine to keep, but at the same time I feel bad.... ugh
@jgrullon5415,
I, personally, would feel no moral obligation to give a relative money just because they want it. They aren't asking for their share or their inheritance or what they should be getting. They are asking YOU to give them YOUR money.
I don't know that I'd even attempt to justify your actions, I'd politely decline and go on as you have with this part of your family. I'd skip any long guilt ridden conversations, don't apologise, and be direct. That's just me though. I look at an inheritance as a gift. It isn't something I deserve or are owed, but if somebody gives me something then it's mine to do with what I want.
Money definitely brings out the worst in folks.
@tibbleinparadise,
I just wanted to add...
Your grandfather set up his estate so that these funds would be distributed to THREE people. He did not include anybody further down the family tree. You must assume that he did this on purpose.
Now if YOU decide to be generous, whether to your family or an organization or whatever, then that is your choice to make.
@tibbleinparadise,
I appreciate your input! Surely makes me feel better and that I'm not a horrible person for wanting to keep it. Thank you!
Depends on if you like them and want to continue familial relations. Nothing comes between people faster than money.
@jgrullon5415,
jgrullon5415 wrote:Well, come to find out, the way my grandfather set up it, if one of us beneficiaries died, then it would be a 50% split. Each beneficiary getting an equal amount.
your grandfather set up his estate the way he wanted it
accept the money as he intended it
if at some point you'd like to give a gift to your cousin's child, it's an entirely separate issue
(the number of children anyone has, or their ages, is really irrelevant to the matter)
@ehBeth,
Thank you for your input.
@jgrullon5415,
I'd like to get a little more information before commenting.
What does the other cousin think about this and what are they doing about it?
Is this other cousin a sibling of the deceased cousin?
How many people comprise the deceased cousin's family, to which you refer, who are asking that your 50% should be reduced to 33% apart from the one 26 year old child?
How much is the total amount of the bequest subject to discussion?
Your grandfather had wisely set up his will exactly the way he wanted it, knowing about the cousin's cancer and the cousin's family's greed. You must honor him by carrying out his wishes, and tell the cousin's family this is the reason. In fact, they need to honor him by abiding to his wishes as well. You may have a soft heart and feel guilty about your cousin's family, but you need to take a stand for your grandfather by obeying his last wishes.
@ekename,
So the total amt was 450k, which was supposed to be split by 3. Which now is being split in half. So basically we each got an add'l 75K. My other cousin is the sibling of my deceased cousin. My deceased cousin's family consists of 2, her husband and daughter. My cousin states the money is her sister's and should go to the husband.
@jgrullon5415,
jgrullon5415 wrote: My cousin states the money is her sister's and should go to the husband.
it's not up to your cousin
it is up to the executor to divide the money as determined by your grandfather's will
50% of the total is yours
@ehBeth,
It's not even up to the executor. Since the money was all in accounts with Charles Schwab, and we were beneficiaries, it even bypassed the will etc. We've already received the money. They are just hounding me for the 75k. I appreciate everyone's opinions!
@jgrullon5415,
It would be interesting to know whether or not the will also comprised significant assets that were split the same way. Also I wonder if your surviving cousin is donating $75,000 to his sibling's family irrespective of your position.
Funds allow you to nominate beneficiaries and do not countenance contingent entitlements.
It's your call.
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