Size matters, say Conservatives

Link : http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1835&ncid=1835&e=9&u=/cpress/20041013/ca_pr_on_od/brite_martin_caucus

OTTAWA (CP) - For Conservatives, apparently size does matter - at least when it comes to politics.



Tory MP Rahim Jaffer parlayed reports of a government-funded documentary about penises into some bawdy humour about the size of Paul Martin's caucus Wednesday. The Liberals lost three-dozen MPs in the June federal election and Jaffer joked that thoughts of their lost majority might leave Martin with caucus-envy.


"Not only frustrated by having such a small caucus for a governing party, the prime minister suffers the humiliation of having a smaller caucus than his predecessor, Jean Chretien," the Edmonton MP deadpanned.


"The prime minister is distraught over the fact that he could not elect a majority. Worse, Jean Chretien, a man older than he, brags that he did it three times."


Jaffer's phallic monologue began with a reference to a Toronto film company that used classified ads to search for "the perfect penis."


The project received three separate grants totalling over $133,000 from the Canadian Television Fund.


Jaffer wondered aloud why the government would fund such a project.


He eventually offered Martin an unsolicited piece of advice about governing with a shrunken caucus.


"To avoid a crisis, we would recommend that the prime minister stop popping Velotrin (a penis-enlargement pill sold over the Internet) and just accept what he has - a minority."