Don't know what to do

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My wife has been going through a lot but through this she has made me her emotional punching bag and has been very disrespectful to me and unappreciative and seems to go out of her way to make things harder on me. Shes been nothing but malicious and rude. While she's not working I am the breadwinner in our home I pay rent and always am willing to help her and want to give her nothing but love. She pushes it away and tells me she only married me because she was still using drugs. While I may add I was not I served as a support and have done everything that I can to help her turn her life around. And I was there for her when her father died and when she lost custody of her kids I was there for her. She went into a mental hospital for a week and I was there I have always been and its if she doesnt realize how much I love and care for her now she is pregnant and all I want to do was be there for her and support her through this and be apart of this experience of having my first child. But she'll keep me away I have went to a few ob appoiments yet some she purposely doesn't tell me and she's straight up she doesn't want me to go with and it hurts. Now we barely speak and if we do it's because she needs something I feel as if she doesn't care about me and treat me like the scum of the earth when all I want is to be there I have her living so comfortably out of love and just trying to be a good man but she treats me like I'm not anything. Well now I've come to the point that I'm thinking of leaving for two weeks without notice to clear my mind and get away from this negativity and mental abuse. I just don't know if this is the right thing to do or what the outcome will be. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 301 • Replies: 4

[+3] - ehBeth - 01/15/2017You've chosen to be in a relationship with someone who has mental health problems. You are going to need to get some support for yourself around this. If possible, get her to take you to an...

Gosh, she seems so angry and anxious - and now pregnant!! Was this unplanned? Are you the father? When did all this begin?

Yes. I do think you should leave. But not the way you say you are.

How about:
"I'm having trouble handling how I am being treated. I know you have some things going on but you wont let me help and in fact, are pushing me away. So i'm going to give you some space for a while. I want to go to counseling with you to find how how we can hold this thing together for the sake of our child and because I love you."

Then leave. Couples counseling is important. Ask her mental health Dr. For a referral ASAP

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@PUNKEY,

it wasn't planned but she had said in numerous conversations that she wanted to have a baby. I am the father. To be honest i don't even know where it began she gets like this sometimes and I've put up with it a lot because I love her and I'm patient but I feel as if she's taken that as a weakness and I'm just trying to be a good man to her and learn how to be a better husband. Her family says that she usually does target one person and pretty much makes there lives miserable because she's unhappy. Her mom told me that it use to be her and she sees a pattern and that now I am the one who's being targeted it sounds crazy as hell though right? I don't know where to began or where to understand it she acts very irrational and when things go wrong I'm the person she takes everything out on and will even disrespect me in front of her kids. I raise my voice about 15 feet or more away from her out of her personal space and she'll threaten then follow with calling the cops on me she's done this three times since we've been together . And every time they come they say There's no reason for us to be called. She doesn't know how this feels man to feel like I'm a criminal or a person that you feel you need to call the police on for no reason and it's just really messed me up mentally and telling me to leave her brothers house because she was upset because I had a cigarette and says in front of her whole family " you don't belong here this is my family you don't have a family " things like that over things that are so small i just don't get it

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@Kchew22,

You've chosen to be in a relationship with someone who has mental health problems. You are going to need to get some support for yourself around this. If possible, get her to take you to an appointment with her mental health counsellor so you can get a referral for yourself (and maybe some advice from her counsellor).

Document everything. Everything.

You need to be prepared in case there is a time you need to assume custody of the new child. Document. Record. Diary.

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