Bought Mum a car n went wrong big time

The hint here might have come when the family disowned you!

Plenty of people.

I almost understand you and your motives for your action, but is your mother feeble in some way? Plenty of people young or older have various hangups going on in their lives. She seems, as Ragman, or was it Contrex, said, the sensible person here. Maybe she is over any "I need it" enthusiasm for favorite type cars, or maybe she'd like some peace going on within her brood. Maybe she herself was rather erratic, as many of us are from time to time. I'm old, and in my lifetime have bought 13 cars, new or used. Eleven of them were in my youthful idiocy days.

I'm more interested in whether your mother has pals in her new retired life. Do you folks in England have Meet Up groups? A lot of cities, at least in the US, have Meet Up groups for a good variety of interests.

apparently the money does matter

__

I hope your current partner figures you out right quick.

I bet u don't have a partner with ur bad attitude. What I said was the insurance money isn't the matter here as my mum is quiet comfortable n more then capable of paying the insurance etc.

The act of giving means you give something to another. They are free to do whatever they want to do with it. If she wants to take the car and smash into a tree, that would be her business. It's similar to giving your child a toy for their birthday or some other occasion. They are the possessor and if they want to give it to a friend or trade it for a box of tiddlywinks, that's up to them. If you want to have control over things, then they are a loan, subject to whatever tyrannical rules you draw up and get them to sign for, not as you allege, a gift.

No my mum doesn't really leave the house. I've tried to get her to go to over 50 except use classes, yoga etc. But she's always depressed n doesn't wanna leave the house. This is why I wanted to buy her the car she always wanted to get her off her butt n back into the real world. Funny how things work out I guess, good intentions can go horribly wrong

<chuckles re your reference to ehBeth, she's a smart woman>

Do u have kids???

So if u bought ur son/daughter a car they could let all there friends drive it n u couldn't say ****. That's the biggest load of crap I've heard so far. Ok don't call it a gift, call it trying to get ur mum the car she always wanted without ur spoilt brat sister taking it off her!!!

So you're happy to decide how she should spend her money as well as tell her how she can use a gift.

Charming.

Is the depression ongoing, or just since she retired?

seems like most people agree with your family on this

that's feedback for you

It's ongoing, seems to got worse since she retired n I was genuinely trying to give her a reason to get out the house

You don't seem like s very nice person to me so I don't care what u think

Does she like spending time with you and your children? invite her to join you on excursions with you/your children. encourage her to take the children to parks/plays/museums/other adventures.

You asked a question - I'm in agreement with what other posters have told you.

I think we can agree we might not be friends in real life. I'm likely older than your mother (as are all of the other posters responding so far) - our perspective is likely more like hers than yours.

Yes I do this all the time but she's not really interested. she has two friends who go round once a week each, I always say why don't u meet them somewhere n get out the house but she never does. Like she's in a big prison. I've given up asking her to come out with my son or take him out because she always kicks off n comes up with something to get out of it. She will sit n watch films with him though n that's about it.

Is she seeing a therapist, or at the least a doctor?

There's more going on here than about the car as a gift with rules.

There are many of these.

Yes she's finally gone n got anti depressants from the doctor. I've been trying to get her to c a therapist and doctor for years. It's hard to help someone who doesn't see there's anything wrong or want to change

She wouldn't go to something like this, I'd love it if she would because isolation isn't good for anyone. That's why I thought buying her the car she always wanted would help, give her a spark and give her reason to leave the house. The condition in saying my sister can't drive it is a long story but I don't think that's unreasonable at all