Am I wasting my time?

Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 years we have 4 kids ages 4 3 1 and 1 week. My boyfriend has expressed that he will never marry me because I don't have life long goal, he claims I cant hold down a job (had a job 2yrs then got prego with 1st child and employer turned to a bitch in housekeeping) since that employment I've tried to work twice unfortunately he is so wrapped up in himself making his own money that when kids got ill I was fired for taking time off. Since then I've been a Stay at home mother and housekeeper. He has recently got a raise in which the neighbour who is a family friend is how I found out I asked him why he didn't tell me he said I didn't need to know. He spends his money on his own personal bills and will literally let us go without proper food in the house to ensure he doesn't use his money. He spends his entire weekly paycheque on his bills so then have to live off credit card so he won't buy food to ensure he doesn't rise his credit card. He just this past weekend got his vacation pay which he didn't tell me and again paid his own bills (dad, credit card, cable bill) he doesn't pay the hydro, gas or kids needs I do that and if I ask him to I have to pay him back. Now my issue is that I've had 4 kids for this man (35 and I'm 25), I've devoted myself completely. I feel like I'm wasting my time with someone who's to wrapped in money. Marriage is about love spending your life with someone u don't want to be without, not what kind of money they will be making in 10yrs. About a yrs ago, I charged him with assault. His dad paid his lawyer bill which is why he owes his dad money.. He blames that on me and says I should be paying his dad. I have given his father 600.00. I asked him to help with hydro he refuses. I recently decided to get my own car as I'm tired of using his and relying on him he will put 10 in gas and day to ensure I can't "galavant" while he is working.. He says if I'm allowed to go nap or not or out with friends if I go for coffee he texts me throwing a guilt trip or accuses me of nonsense for no reason. Am I wasting my time or is this normal... (Parents were disfunctional so I don't know proper relationship) do you think I'm devoted and wanting to marry someone who's here living off me? I just feel I've given him all he's wanted and he can't even marry me..