Even if the guy is that broke at end of month, the fact that he shows no regret of any kind at not pitching in is a sure sign of bad things.
Does he even thank you afterwards?
@Leadfoot,
He does always thank me and when I but things he will always cook for us and clean up afterwards which is why I feel so bad just leaving him over it because I know he really appreciates it but I also get really annoyed with the fact that he can not even afford the simplest of things like a juice
Maybe he does not have the great job he told you he had.
@contrex,
contrex wrote:
Bottom line, my guess is he has more spare money than he is telling you.
Another bottom line is she's been seeing this guy only 2 months.
She hardly knows him.
Cut your losses and move on.
I mostly agree with all the posters responding, but not entirely.
My husband was younger than I was, by quite a long shot.
I had branched out, though still working as a med tech, into becoming a painter and having an art gallery shared with another woman, long story told elsewhere on a2k. Anyway, our gallery was a big old Eagles Lodge, and in order to pay the lease, we sublet to a jewelery maker and a theater group. My later to be husband was in the theater group. I knew he was "poor" and much of the family background. My own family had very tough stretches. I also grew to know his abilities re both going for a masters in theater and playwriting (he and his brother had full uni scholarships/fellowships) and working as a handyman, plus his general thinking, whereas I had an ordinary med tech salary at a good institution and was flinging it away on exploring art, which I'm still not sorry about.
Something like 24 years went on by and we tended to trade off - sometimes he was the major earner and sometimes I was. We did finally split, nothing to do with money, but kept contact, and now, twenty more years later, talk a few times a year.
I'm not clear re our poster's boyfriend; I'd have to know more to really judge from afar, but my inkling is the rest of you are right..
I think there is need for a big talk. Not necessarily accusing, at least at first, and also giving your take, how all this makes you feel.
@ossobucotemp,
Adds, my university was free back then, only way I could go. As it was, I worked 30 plus hours a week to bring in money.
Thrifty people may vary on reasons.
I still think I'm for pizzalover, but want to hear about discussion.
@pizzalover96,
Quote:why I feel so bad just leaving him over it
Sometimes you gotta go with your gut.
But guts sometimes lie.
Hmmmm... Which one would make me feel worse when I found out later..
I went full throttle in love for a douche bag and hit a brick wall..
or
I threw away the best thing that ever could have happened to me.
@pizzalover96,
In my opinion, the man should always pay, but that's just me. I get it if a woman wants to feel like they are contributing financially to a relationship but it's never cool to be stuck paying for everything all the time. I hope you move on and find another guy. But as a test, next time you guys go out, you should say that you are low on funds and see if he will step up and be a man about it and PAY.
@mwinslow,
No one should go through such a stunt to see if they will pay their fair share.
