@maxdancona,
I know you are trying to be amusing with this but it also is part of the "Innocents suffer so therefore there can be no God" argument you've advanced in the past
It presumes that if there is a God and he created humans he would have made them perfect representations of what humans perceive as perfection. Not to mention that he would have had to created an idyllic existence for them.
I don't think that paternalistic view, is a particularly sophisticated argument against the existence of God. It may be all you feel you need to address certain expressed beliefs about the nature of God, but surely you realize that there are more than one belief or theory, or just sense of God's nature.
Besides, theologians who share a paternalistic view of God, have been countering the argument nicely for hundreds of years if not thousands. I don't expect to see any of them turn up in this forum; on this thread though.
You are not required to disprove the existence of God, but if you are going to attempt to, your arguments should not be so easily countered.