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Thu 2 Sep, 2004 04:29 pm
I've asked this question before, but didn't receive a plausible answer, so I'll try it again.
Why is it that all authors include the phrase a dog barked in the distance in their novels?
Or at least a variation of it. In the distance, a dog barked.
A distant dog barked. Somewhere, very distant, a dog was barking
Distantly, a barking dog could be heard.
It's driving me crazy. There must be some secret agreement between all authors, or some sort of cult where the members must include that friggin' barking dog somewhere in their books. I've been researching it but so far haven't uncovered anything.
I wonder if the Templars are behind this?
The other day I was in the book store and randomly flipped through hundreds of books. I found the dog in the majority of them, and perhaps all of them had it, but I may have missed a few.
Here's one from a romance novel...
The moonlight streamed in the window as Fredrico stared at her heaving breasts. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked.
This is from a historical novel...
The Visigoths charged, screaming and waving swords. A dog barked and then scampered out of the way.
And a science fiction book...
The sky was filled with screeching tripodorns. There great wings beat the air and the resulting sound was like a thousand thunderstorms. The muffled barking of a small dog broke through. Otherwise all noise was swallowed.
History book...
A young George Washington wiped his brow and stared at the felled cherry tree. In the distance a dog barked. George sensed he had done something wrong.
You probably think I'm making all this up, but I promise you I am not. There's something evil going on out there in the book world.
The dog is the key.
I could use some help on this one.
According to popular rumor, but not truth, Walt Disney's father was a mailman and he hated dogs.
Eveyone knows that if you want your book turned into a film by the Disney studio that you had better include a distant dog as homage to Walt's father.
Authors want to have their books turned into films by Disney studios.
Ergo: Distant dog inclusion
Eveyone is of course, my source for this information. Eveyone knows everything and everyone.
Yes, Phoenix, you are correct - They and Them know everything.
I was talking about my personal friend, Eveyone (no R).
You forgot the mystery...the dog barks at midnight.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, now that I think about it, didn't have a barking dog incident. But the novel starts off with a dead dog in the middle of the yard, impaled by a pitchfork.
The dog was killed because of its barking.
Might this have been the author's attempt to break free from the barking dog syndrome.
Was he a rebel author?
I think we're making some headway here.
Phoenix wrote:"The hero took the heroine into his arms, and she melted from the fragrance emanating from his body. She was wild with anticipation. And, far off, in the distance, a cat meowed"
That was excellent, Phoenix, and it shows that you're giving this problem a lot of thought.
That's what I'm looking for -- thinking people.
We'll solve this together.
That lovely book has yet to be made into a Disney film. Draw your own conculusion.
I've been thinking of Phoenix's angle and enlisted Herr Professor Fartundwiggle to sing a rousing chorus of Old MacDonald to aid my research.
A....... pig oinked..... in the distance.
....... duck quacked.....
......... cow mooed......
......... horse neighed.....
Nothing seems to have that "rk" quality of bark.
Every dog has his day.
Gus, this is a twenty-four hour day and part of a dog's good day (a good dog's day?) is getting out and about and barking in the distance.
Besides, when the dog doesn't bark, the mailman dunnit.
The simple fact is that dog's are scene stealers! You just have to look at them, the way they roll around on the floor, the way they jump all over you, the way they gaze adoringly at you while you sit watching TV, to know that they just have to be the centre of attention at all times!
Thus it is, whenever a story reaches a particularly intense or dramatic scene, a dog must be included, even if it is only as a sound effect. It's simply their natural place in life!
Oh, Gus, I'm sorry. You must not have received your BDWG card yet. I can't imagine why not. Perhaps the Barking Dog Writers' Guild couldn't get mail through to you in the swamp.
Um...you DID join, didn't you?
Slowly I turned ... step by step ... inch by inch
Damn those barking-dog-people! I have never written a line like that, and I don't intend to either. Yet, I was arrested for speaking about this in a quick (6 hour) lecture on Hyde Park Corner. I blame education's teaching 'dog' first. The powers that be clearly want continuity with the past, which comes with those damn barking dogs.
Spike lay panting in the moonlight. Far below a dark automobile pulled up under the trees. The headlights went dark, and Spike wondered if it was Roger come back to get him. Two humans got out of the car carrying a blanket. Neither of the humans smelled like Roger. Spike remembered his soft bed in a warm kitchen filled with the smell of food. Food was on Spike's mind a lot these days. Yesterday, a larger dog fought him for a small trash bone that had almost no meat on it. Spike's torn ear seemed to hurt even more in contrast to Roger's gentle scratching. Spike missed the loving touch of his human almost as much as the food. His tired eyes slowly dropped and Spike slept. Spike began to dream of those days of plenty that now seemed gone forever.
Suddenly in the distance, a human moaned. The sound brought Spike back to the world. He stood and peered down on the distant humans. Why? Were they calling to Spike? Should he answer?
I think this is an excerpt from a Stephen King NovelÂ…in the distance you could hear the frightful barking of capybaras. The dreaded reverberations carried throughout the swamp. As old man Gus slumped against a tree trunk with a worrisome sadness in his eyesÂ…
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