4
   

AA or NA meetings, effects on kids attending?

 
 
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 04:54 pm
I understand the importance of parents who need meetings & attending. I am concerned about my child having to attend many meetings and what effect it might have on him both behavior wise as well as emotionally. At what age if ever does it become inappropriate for young children to attend such meetings? It means exposure to criminals who are ordered to be there, a lot of sadness/emotions, and bad language. If it's ok how often is okay? Some people attend more than one meeting a day, so would the amount of exposure emotionally hurt a child at some point?
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 1,987 • Replies: 13
No top replies

 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 05:09 pm
@BeachBum13,
Usually children, friends and family have their own separate support meetings - unless they are also addicts. i.e. Al-Anon and Alateen

It's anecdotal, but every one I know who's gone to family support meetings has told me they benefitted from it.

You're best off to talk to your child's health professional about his particular requirements.

The majority of people who attend AA/NA are not criminals.
BeachBum13
 
  2  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 06:00 pm
@ehBeth,
Sadly, in our area the meetings are not divided by family or not they are open to all to encourage attendance of any meeting. There is a high rate of addiction here and about 2 of 3 attendees are felons about 25% are there on court orders. I just don't know at what age the sadness/emotions he is exposed to will really effect him. He is starting to talk and language being repeated is also a concern.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 06:10 pm
@BeachBum13,
Is someone requiring his attendance? why would he be going?

Have you talked to his doctor about this?
0 Replies
 
BeachBum13
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 07:24 pm
His Dr. thought a child physiologist should be asked about he wasn't really sure about it. He is very young barely a toddler. I just don't have easy access to a psychologist right away and I don't want to alienate the other parent in any way. His other parent attends out of true need and feels it is an acceptable situation to take him to meetings. It is a regular practice. I agree the meetings are important I'd just like his exposure more limited, especially as he ages. I question it's effect on him emotionally. Custody is equally shared as it is agreed that is best for him to have us both as much as possible, there is no question of love and devotion for each side. I am just watching and hoping it won't hurt him. I have never attended, I have no addiction issues but I know enough people who have to know the sad statistics for our area and the meetings reportedly can be very emotional.
BeachBum13
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 07:26 pm
@BeachBum13,
Thank you for your feedback, it is appreciated. Perhaps I am worried without good reason, and my friends and family are of coarse going to say it's not ok. I need to hear options that are not already involved in the situation so I can decide what if anything I should do.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 07:32 pm
@BeachBum13,
If the doc thinks a child psychologist should be consulted, please tell the child's other parent about that recommendation.

Have the other parent attend the doctor's appointment with you to discuss it.

Your child's health is the most important thing.

____


Has your child already started attending the meetings? have you noticed any effect on him?
BeachBum13
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 07:44 pm
@ehBeth,
The child has attending his whole life, the other parent has been told adamantly disagrees there is any reason to be concerned and was angry it was even mentioned. If I force it, it will cause a divide I was/am hoping to avoid. That was why I was asking here. I know it is probably inevitable, but I thought maybe someone would have experiences that could say it's ok and why, or why it isn't ok. Your absolutely right his health is the most important, and why I am concerned now that is getting bigger vs being a baby.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 07:56 pm
@BeachBum13,
Have you ever attended a meeting with your child? if not, perhaps you should go to check out the situation. Tell the child's other parent that you are concerned and would like to ease your mind about it by attending. If they don't understand that, then you've got a bigger problem overall that does have to be dealt with.

Given the meetings I've seen from the periphery here, a small child would become very bored and the parent would be asked to make other arrangements. In fact, some facilities host on-site daycare during meetings. A family member volunteered at one of those daycares.
BeachBum13
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Feb, 2016 09:19 pm
@ehBeth,
That is a good idea, attending that is. I am not sure if they are open to if you are not participating or if I'd be welcome but it couldn't hurt to ask. I couldn't really know if behavior would be different while I am there vs. a regular meeting though. I do know some other people do occasionally bring kids as well but they may not do it as often. Photos have been posted of kids with him even. The whole things a very touchy subject.
0 Replies
 
LLL222
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Apr, 2018 01:17 pm
@BeachBum13,
I understand the importance of attending meetings and how that can be hard when you have children to take care of. However, my father took me to AA meetings when I was only 5 and I wish he never did. I remember them vividly. In fact, I am an artist today because I spent so much time sitting in a corner drawing for hours by myself at his AA meetings. They exposed me to many ugly people and ugly adult issues, that I wished I didn't have to experience at that young of an age. I would have highly preferred my Dad staying home and actually playing with me, but that never happened. Being a parent takes someone who can give their life to someone else. Sorry, but maybe you could read an AA book at home and then go to meetings when you have a sitter.
0 Replies
 
NAAAMom
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 May, 2018 02:11 pm
Very late on my response here. I am a Mom who is in recovery. I used to bring my daughter to meetings, however I don’t feel comfortable doing so anymore because she is 4. Often times the subjects discussed during meetings are dark secrets and drunkalogues from fellow members pasts, including my own. When the focus is on a Higher Power and recovery I feel comfortable having her with me. When it the focus is on the latter, I do not. There is no way for me to censor a meeting for my 4 year old so I have decided to not bring her anymore. Which means I can go when I have a sitter or my husband is home. On days when I can’t arrange childcare I make sure to check in with friends from The fellowship and to meditate. This helps so much when I can’t get to a meeting.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 May, 2018 07:52 pm
@NAAAMom,
NAAAMom wrote:
When the focus is on a Higher Power


that's the part I'd have a real problem exposing a child to

real life - even awful real life, ok

imaginary friends - I can't fathom exposing children to that
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 May, 2018 08:21 pm
I recall going to AA meetings about thirty years ago, and seeing a woman there who brought her baby to every meeting she attended. My concern was that it was winter time and no open windows and about twenty-five chain-smokers. The smoke bothered me, and I was even a smoker at the time. But I understand that meetings are now smoke-free . . . at least during the meeting, anyway.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

The twelve-step program - Discussion by Arjuna
AA question - Discussion by Eliusa
 
  1. Forums
  2. » AA or NA meetings, effects on kids attending?
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 03/22/2019 at 10:06:37