I don't get no respect.
The other night, about 3 am the kids come running into our bedroom, crying "Mommy, mommy the house is on fire!"
And she says, "Quiet, dears, or you'll wake your father."
--Rodney Dangerfield
At my age food's better than sex
That's why I put a mirror over the table
Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster is a maniac?
* George Carlin
Miriam Karlin- Everybody out!
Well, get outta my way you small town hicks
This country boy is out for kicks
Stole my money and they took my gun
Then they sent me to jail for having too much fun . . .
"If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing to excess"
Hangman, hangman hold it a little while,
Think I see my friends coming,
Riding many a mile.
Friends did you bring me some silver?
Did you get a little gold?
What did you bring me my dear friends,
To keep me from the gallows pole?
Nothing exceeds like excess . . .
Do you have any bags, sir?
Just the one, but she'll be coming along momentarily.
Sorry sir. Only one carrion per person.
Whited sepulchres, full of rotting flesh and dead men's bones . . .
Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear
To dig the dust enclosèd here.
Blessed be the man that spares these stones,
And cursed be he that moves my bones.
Come one step closer, and youre gettin' it between the eyes!
