What's the best "Jesus" song?

I liked Jesus in a Camper Van, and Nick Cave's version of Jesus Met the Woman at the Well. Also, Blind Willie Johnson's Jesus Walks on the Water.

"Plastic Jesus" by Ernie Marrs, the chorus to which is:

I don't care if it rains of freezes
'Long as I got my Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car.

Are You Drinking With Me Jesus (apparently by Peter Berryman)...

Drop Kick me Jesus through the Goalposts of Life was a catchy title.

"American Jesus" by Bad Religion is my favorite Jesus song along with Jesus Is Just Alright With Me coming in a very close second...

I don't need to be a global citizen
because I'm blessed by nationality
I'm member of a growing populace
we enforce our popularity
there are things that
seem to pull us under
and there are things
that drag us down
but there's a power
and a vital presence
thats lurking all around
we've got the american Jesus
see him on the interstate
we've got the american Jesus
he helped build the
president's estate
I feel sorry
for the earth's population
'cuz so few
live in the U.S.A.
at least the foreigners
can copy our morality
they can visit but they cannot stay
only precious few
can garner the prosperity
it makes us walk
with renewed confidence
we've got a place to go when we die
and the architect resides right here
we've got the american Jesus
overwhelming millions every day
(exercising his authority)
he's the farmers barren fields
the force the army wields
the expession in the faces
of the starving children
the power of the man
he's the fuel that drives the clan
he's the motive and conscience
of the murderer
he's the preacher on t.v.
the false sincerity
the form letter that's written
by the big computers
he's the nuclear bombs
and the kids with no moms
and i'm fearful that
he's inside me

Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus.

Jesus Shootin' Heroin
The Flaming Lips

Well, I never really understood religions,
Except it seems a good reason to kill.
Everybody's got their own conceptions,
And you know, they always will.
These days are needles under my skin.
Jesus shootin' heroin.

If there are priests at your party,
And you're playing cards that are numbered,
And you got no reason to think it,
Until your chances are uncovered.
Tell me that I got to believe in,
Jesus shootin' heroin.

The police in new york city,
Chased a boy, right through the park.
In a case of mistaken identities,
They put a bullet through his heart.

I met mary, on the corner with the streetlights.
She asked me if I'd come up to her room.
I told her that I didn't have no money.
She said she had to leave pretty soon.
I decided that I would go in.
Jesus shootin' heroin.

Jesus Gonna Be Here
(Tom Waits)

Well, Jesus will be here
Be here soon
He's gonna cover us up with leaves
With a blanket from the moon
With a promise and a vow
And a lullaby for my brow
Jesus gonna be here
Be here soon

Well I'm just gonna wait here
I don't have to shout
I have no reason and
I have no doubt
I'm gonna get myself
Unfurled from this mortal coiled up world
Because Jesus gonna be here
Be here soon

I got to keep my eyes open
So I can see my Lord
I'm gonna watch the horizon.
For a brand new Ford

I can hear him rolling on down the lane
I said Hollywood be thy name
Jesus gonna be
Gonna be here soon

Well I've been faithful
And I've been so good
Except for drinking
But he knew what I would
I'm gonna leave this place better
Than the way I found it was
And Jesus gonna be here
Be here soon

I figured you'd pull that out. I can counter...

Chocolate Jesus
(Tom Waits)

Don't go to church on Sunday
Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the Bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I don't want no Anna Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul

(Solo)
When the weather gets rough
And it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that's ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well my feet stink
My head hurts
An' i don't love Jesus . . .

I'm going left-field here now. There is no Jesus in the song, but the references are quite clear:

HYPO FULL OF LOVE
A3

Larry: Brothers and sisters I have a confession to make this evening. I been a fool, I been hanging out on street corners with whores and junkies - living mah life low. But lately a little bit of light has come into mah life and that light be the light of love; D. W.A.Y.N.E. LOVE and he be a man with a 12-step plan and he gonna show you how to do it.

Step One
You admit you are powerless under me
Step Two
You figure that's just gotta be jelly cos jam just don't shake like that
Step Three
Make a searching inventory of all your good ****
Step Four
Inventory taken,you hand all that good **** over to me
Step Five
Having divined I am the real thing you get down on your knees
Step Six
....and humbly ask me to remove your underthings
Step Seven
And make ready for me to do mah thing
Step Eight
Naked now you're ready to understand mah kind of lovin'
Step Nine
Lovin men, lovin women, lovin all God's creatures
Step Ten
And in turn your divestments having been completed
Step Eleven
Ah get turned on by you, and in turn being turned on by you
Step Twelve
I know you're ready to become a disci disciple, a lonely little reverend
making his way day by day, in the congregation
Hustling a dollar here, a dollar there, selling pictures of The King
to bring back to the coffers of the all powerful all holy Reverend Doctor D.W.A.Y.N.E
Love first Reverend of The First Presleytarian Church Of Elvis The Divine.

If you see me standing on the corner, money in mah hand
I ain't waiting for no taxi honey, I'm waiting for mah man
He aint selling heroin, he aint selling crack cocaine
He got enough of that stuff gonna move you up to
a higher plane

Shoot me up
In the mainline
Shoot me up
You know I feel fine
Shoot me up
Every damn day
With a hypo full of love
With a hypo full of love
Shoot me up
Deep down inside
Shoot me up
You know you can't hide
Shoot me taxi honey, I'm waiting for mah man
He aint selling heroin, he aint selling crack cocaine
He got enough of that stuff gonna move
33 minutes down till you lose the misery

Hey baby theres no need to go under, just ring
D.Wayne's number up and you be feeling free
D.Wayne is on the mainline, tell him what you want
Just call him up and tell him what you want
If your sick and you wanna get well, tell him what you want
Just call him up and tell him what you want.

From brother D. Wayne
With a hypo full of love
An a hypo full of love

Your monkey's messing with bad medicine
He be down with the Jones
Sweating, Shaking, bodies aching
Badly feel the fever in your bones
T-t-t-tripping out you starta count

Jesus Forgive Me
Concrete Blonde

Oh, jesus, please forgive me for the things I'm about to say

I killed you in my mind today
I cut you up, I watched you bleed
I killed you in my heart today
For everything you did to me

I murdered you a hundred times
I shot you dead and never cried
I killed you in my mind today
I laughed and watched you die

Screaming at me all on fire
Liar, liar, liar
I buried you with my desire
Liar, liar, liar
I buried you so far below
Liar, liar, liar
I hate to see you go

Oh, jesus, please forgive me
Oh, jesus, please forgive me

On my knees beside my bed
Liar, liar, liar
I'm sorry for the things I said
Liar, liar, liar
I've washed the sheets a million times
Liar, liar, liar
I'm paying for my crime

Oh, jesus, please forgive me
Oh, jesus, please forgive me

Oh, jesus, please forgive me
Oh, jesus, please forgive me

Oh, jesus, please forgive me
Oh, jesus, please forgive me

I killed you in my mind today
Oh, jesus, please forgive me
I killed you in my mind today
Somehow

here's one about his dad

Dear God - XTC

Dear God, hope you got the letter, and...
I pray you can make it better down here.
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
but all the people that you made in your image,
see them starving on their feet
'cause they don't get enough to eat from God,
I can't believe in you

Dear God, sorry to disturb you, but...
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
and all the people that you made in your image,
see them fighting in the street
'cause they can't make opinions meet about God,
I can't believe in you

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you? And the devil too!

Dear God, don't know if you noticed, but...
your name is on a lot of quotes in this book,
and us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
and all the people that you made in your image
still believing that junk is true.
Well I know it ain't, and so do you, dear God,
I can't believe in
I don't believe in

I won't believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
You're always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
and it's the same the whole world 'round.
The hurt I see helps to compound
that Father, Son and Holy Ghost
is just somebody's unholy hoax,
and if you're up there you'd perceive
that my heart's here upon my sleeve.
If there's one thing I don't believe in

it's you...

Hands down, Spirit in the Sky by Mountain.

But I still have a soft spot for Snakefinger's rendidtion of Jesus Was a Leprechaun.

Either Eulogy by Tool or Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode.

Hey djjd62...Have you heard Tricky's version of Dear God yet? It's excellent.

"Jesus & Elvis"
Jesus had some water, said "Wine'd be better yet".
Elvis picked up a guitar and made all women wet.

Elvis he died young - Jesus he died younger.
Elvis died of too much - Jesus died of hunger.

Jesus sang down through the ages: "Do like you'd have'em
do you".
Elvis rocked the universe with be-bop-a-lu-la -

Now here they are on black velvet, in a parking lot in
Missouri -
rocking my soul with rock'n'roll, soulful harmony.

Jesus went back to heaven to be the King of Kings,
but I hear the King of Rock'n'Roll is still restlessly
roaming.

Go on home to Jesus, El - he's waiting there you'll find.
You two can jam on old gospel songs - them are the best
kind.

-Greg Brown

no, i'll have to check that out

some basphemey from the dead milkmen

I Dream Of Jesus

It was during my 2nd senior year when Mom found Jesus Christ. His
spirit was trapped inside an old manischevitz bottle that Mom picked
out of the dumpster behind the 7-11. Mom brought the bottle inside and
sat it down on top of the TV. Then she told all of us kids to gather
round, and then she explained how Jesus lived in the bottle, and how,
if she wanted to, she could call him out to do her bidding. Sis said it
reminded her of an old TV show, and Mom slapped her and called her a
heretic. I didn't say anything, cause I just still remember the time
outside the Safeway, when it took 4 security guards to hold Mom down.

Jesus loves me, yes I know
For the Bible tells me so
When I'm weak he makes me strong
That's why I sing this song
If I die before I wake
Pray to him my soul don't take
Jesus loves me, yes I know

It wasn't long before people from all over the world started coming to
our house to see the bottle. At first I thought that this would make me
more popular at school. Instead it seemed to have the opposite result.
Kids would stop and point at me in the hallway and say, "There's the boy
whose mother keeps our savior cooped up in that tiny little bottle." And
then everybody started calling me 'Bottle boy'. And that really hurt. It
was also around this time that Mom began to attract some really weird
followers. Like that guy who never used deodorant and spoke only in
riddles. And that woman who collected 19th century hand made Amish
swimwear.

Jesus loves me, yes I know
For the Bible tells me so
When I'm weak he makes me strong
That's why I sing this song
If I die before I wake
Pray to him my soul don't take
Jesus loves me, yes I know

Mommy she loved Jesus, but not like others did
For she had a special bottle in which our savior lived
Mommy she loved Jesus, but not like others did
For she could unleash His vengeance by unfastening the lid

As the year went on, things went from bad to worse, and I realized that
if there wasn't a big change pretty soon, I'd never be able to get a
date for the prom. I couldn't go the year before because Mom belonged
to a church that considered dancing a one way ticket to Hell. But
that's a whole nother story. Anyway, by this point Mom had appeared on
the Richard Bey Show, A.M. Philadelphia and Geraldo, so there was
no use in me changing schools, since everybody knew who my Mom was.
Also we had to spend all the money from Mom's personal appearances to
hire a bodyguard, since by this point we were getting about 400 death
threats a day.

Jesus loves me, yes I know
For the Bible tells me so
When I'm weak he makes me strong
That's why I sing this song
If I die before I wake
Pray to him my soul don't take
Jesus loves me, yes I know

Then one night, I just couldn't stand it any more. While everyone else
was sleeping I crept downstairs. Slowly I went up to the bottle and
began to unfasten the lid. At first, nothing happened. But then the room
filled with a thick white smoke. I was glad my sister had taken the
batteries out of the smoke detector to put into her Walkman. When the
smoke cleared, I found myself face to face with the son of God, who was
much shorter than I had expected. He told me that since I'd freed Him,
He'd grant me one wish. And that's how I got to go to the prom with
Geena Davis. But you probably already read about that in People.