Wed 12 Nov, 2014 02:43 am
Recently, I received a note through an bisexual online dating site from a bisexual man. After looking at his pictures and reading his profile, I wasn't all that interested ... but I still admit that when I saw he'd listed himself as bisexual, I almost didn't bother looking deeper.Though I would be more than happy to have a bisexual man as my friend (and I do have one close bisexual female friend), I don’t think I'd be able to date a bisexual man.
That's not to say I don't understand how two men--even if one or both are "mostly straight"--could be sexually attracted to each other.
(No one would think twice about a male masseuse giving physical pleasure to a male client, and what is sex but the natural progression of pleasant touching? Etc.) And I've dated (let's see) three boys who'd kissed a few guys back in the day before deciding that, actually, they preferred women and were going to stick with girls. That didn't bother me.
I also think that if it was more culturally acceptable to do so, plenty of us--maybe all of us--would experiment more with our sexuality, rather than leaving most of it to the graduates of Brown and Vassar. (Do you agree?)
Is all that just good old-fashioned ignorance dressed up in nice words? Then again, this is all in the abstract, and if I met a bisexual male with whom I felt a deep connection, I have a feeling I'd put aside my prejudices. And yet ... they are prejudices. Prejudgments. Which make me write off bisexual men off before I even meet them. I think I need to get over this mindset.
@annejie,
Identifying as bisexual shows a level of sexual maturity very few possess. MOST people are some degree of bisexual. If you call yourself straight but then say things like: I like some gay porn, have some gay fantasies, gave a guy a blowjob once, etc. newsflash but you're not straight.
You're more accurately labelled as bisexual.
Very few people, perhaps less than 5% are entirely heterosexual or homosexual. It's freakishly unnatural. It's much more normal to be some degree of bisexual. If you watch porn with women AND men, you're not as straight as you might think you are.
@annejie,
I am a man and have dated bisexual women. However, if I was a woman, I would not date a bisexual man. Being of the male gender, I know that we are "sexually liberal". Hard to trust a guy who has 2x options...
I'd only date bisexuals (and variations on the theme pansexual et al..) Sexual maturity is desireable. Immaturity isn't.
Friends? Sure
Date? Why not
Marriage? Nope
I myself don't believe in bi-sexuality. Eventually, one does settle down with a preference. Everything else is just sexual activity and is more prevalent in the younger years, but as time goes by a choice will be made.
@PUNKEY,
bisexual = individual who can be sexually attracted to both genders. it doesn´t mean you be equally attracted to both, i doesn´t mean you prefer one above the other, it doesn´t even mean you have had sex with both ... I´ve dated girls mainly since i was 28 (i´m 38) but before that I had fallen in love with men and had satisfactory sex relationship with them. i still find some men attractive even though i always choose a woman above a man nowadays. you would say i have made a choice but i say i consider myself bisexual because i´ve felt attracted to men and women and "labelling" myself as a lesbian would mean underestimating my relationship with men
I would date the hell of bisexual women
@Vernon of Prague,
Particularly is she had bisexual younger sister!!
or maybe even bisexual pretty young looking mum!
@annejie,
Not only would, but have.
I wouldn't run screaming from the date when he told me.
But I'd never get into a serious relationship with someone I knew was bi. Complicated enough when they're uni.
@annejie,
I think he is honest, you can give it a chance atleast.
@annejie,
You have this idea is normal, because now the universal people are heterosexual, but we can not because we are not bisexual and bisexual people are biased, Anything existing must be reasonable. In fact, the study found that each person may be bisexual, especially women.
As a woman, I could not date a bisexual male cuz I could never compete with the beautiful muscular thighs of a man! He would probably see that too and I would be doomed! 🙈
@Lilkanyon,
wow as you could compete with all the beautiful women your heterosexual date may encounter on daily basis any where
@momoends,
I think what would worry me more in dating a bi partner is a lack of monogomy. Something may always be missing in the relationship. Maybe I misintrepret this as more then sex anyway. Relationships are more then sex. So....if you leave sex out of the whole story, and talk relationship alone. Is Bi attracted to who more? The strength of men, or the softness of women? Thats really my point. I was only making a joke earlier. Look beyond sex, which gender pleases you in company more? Thats where I would worry about a bi partner. I think its a valid concern.
@Lilkanyon,
bisexual is not equal to unfaithful. I consider myself a bisexual woman but i prefer women above men. I´ve had important relationships with women in the past and was faithful to them. If i were to fall in love with a man, i would commit myself to that relationship as much as i did with those women. People usually confuses bisexuality as people equally attracted to both sexes and therefore unsatisfied by just one of them, but bisexuality actually means: being able to feel attracted by both genres. period. not 50% to each of them, not sexually needing both at the same time,....... the strength of men is a physic/sexual characteristic of a genre... if we are to forget about sex.... maybe a bisexual is attracted to the strength of women and the softness of men
No. I am an old fashioned person. I respect fully other ways of relation, but can't take part on them. Part of my fundamental identity is being a guy. So someone who ought to date me must embrace first the pillars of my identity as a man, before it gets to the person itself. A bisexual could not provide that base in its most pure form.
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