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Mindfulness, self-awareness, and being an attention whore

 
 
Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2014 12:18 pm
Lately I have realized that at times I crave attention, recognition, approval, and sometimes even superiority. I realize this is pretty common but it's kind of a big deal for me, since I've always been sort of a honey badger...I just didn't care. At least consciously. So my question is, now that I'm aware of these thoughts and emotions, what is the most effective course of action? Is being aware of them enough to move past them/disarm them/remove their power over my actions? Should I search deeper for the cause of them? Or would that simply lend them energy/reinforce them?
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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 2,779 • Replies: 12
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Setanta
 
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Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2014 12:22 pm
Hormones . . . hormones trump everything else.

Seriously, we don't know what you value. Your course of action should be determined by what you value in life.
Draco Ignis
 
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Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2014 12:39 pm
@Setanta,
I'm not sure I understand your reply. In this particular case, I value not having my actions and emotions influenced by an unconscious desire for attention and approval, but I thought that was clear. My bad if it wasn't. Or maybe I just don't get what you are saying.
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Setanta
 
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Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2014 12:45 pm
I am saying two things, the first by way of a humorous remark. You have far less control over your emotions and behavior than it appears that you think you have. That was the point of the hormones remark.

What the hell is an "unnecessary desire for attention?" We don't know you or what you value. If, as it appears, you find a desire for attention anathema, then don't do it (keeping in mind that you may not be able to control this behavior). Your opening post does not make clear what your attitude is toward attention seeking.
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2014 12:46 pm
By the way, i have no idea what you mean when you say you're a "honey badger."
Draco Ignis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2014 12:55 pm
@Setanta,
Ah, I see now. Well, thank you for your reply.
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2014 05:46 pm
@Draco Ignis,
You have identified yourself as one with an exaggerated need for approval That's a good sign.

Learn to "check" yourself. Question the intentions for your actions.
Draco Ignis
 
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Reply Wed 24 Sep, 2014 01:24 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thank you for the reply, Punkey.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Sep, 2014 02:01 pm
I'm not a buddhist, and don't think having appreciation for what you say or do is a bad thing, but your thinking it can be probably has something to do with the matter of self..

I've pm'd a pal who knows more about this kind of conundrum; maybe he'll see it and respond here.
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JLNobody
 
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Reply Wed 24 Sep, 2014 05:56 pm
Hi, I too am an "attention whore" but since I've taken up meditation (especially since the seventies) it doesn't dominate my behavior very much. Like you seem to be, I am very much aware of the "desire" for approval and attention (from some people not all, so I guess I'm not such a "whore" anymore). Frankly, I do not see it to be a problem so long as it is not obvious, so long as I do not always dominate social interaction. Once at a gathering I lost control and literally dominated discussion. Suddenly I realized that no-one else had talked for a good amount of time. Slightly embarassed, I said "But enough about me. Let me ask you--and I turned to a very quite individual asking--what do YOU think about me?" In other words it's not something to fret too much about. I'm too old for therapy; if you are young it might be worth considering.

By the way, mindfulness and self-awareness are desireable in themselves. With them one needs less attention from others; one enjoys oneself so that there is less of a deficit of self-appreciation. The problem is being able to love and be loved.
Setanta
 
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Reply Wed 24 Sep, 2014 06:05 pm
@Draco Ignis,
Thank you for completely failing to address the substance of my response to your response to my first post.
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snood
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Sep, 2014 03:55 pm
@JLNobody,
JLN - you're "too old for therapy"? How do you figure?
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FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Sep, 2014 04:03 pm
@Setanta,
A Honey badger is one fearless mother f....r! He is the ultimate badass of the animal kingdom. No one knows what they look like as anyone who's ever seen one has been immediately killed by said badger. They wouldn't think twice about starting some **** and are actually totally fearless, when they kill something (usually 100+ kills a day) they crack open their victims skull with their teeth and eat their brain and digest their thoughts. This makes the Honey Badger the world most intelligent and ruthless mother f....r out therr. They will also sleep with and inpregnate your sister while she sleeps.

Explorer: Oh look, theres a Honey badger!

2.35 seconds later

Oh look, I'm dead!

Smile I didn't write that , Google was my friend
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