I am tired. I am tired being in society means this. I am tired of small talk, of people not seeing nor caring where they are going. I feel so empty, so forced to talk about everyday things, when I would rather be wondering about the many mysteries of the universe.
What meaning is there in living a life without awareness? Just continuity. No real wish, no meaning. My life is meaningless too, yes, but I strive to give meaning to it. I do not turn my intelligence off and accept cheap amusement. That is not happiness. And not that I want to be happy. Euphoria is a hormone, what I aim for is wholeness. To find myself within myself, or maybe within the world.
I do not seek my dreams anymore, since I realized they may not exist. Take meaning for example. It is not something intrinsic to creation. It is actually nothing more than a human construct, and as such it has no meaning without us, nor does it make sense to seek it far from us. What's more, nature binds us to the core, and idea(l)s are not natural. Thus, we have to generate a conscience of our own, redefine how we feel (if we do at all) and live.
Realizing that dreams are not goign to fulfill on their own, but that you will have to work very hard in order to make them true, and still, they may never happen, but trying to materialize them will have still been worth the try. Trying to find meaning, that is the closest concept I have found to having meaning itself.
Someone. That is the answer. Someone else could just be wondering the same I do. Someone else could be sharing my dreams, and striving to actually create them instead of effortlessly seeking them. Someone willing to question and sacrifice anything for truth. Just by probability, they are highly likely to exist. But it is not easy to find someone with high intellectual capacities and a strong will who hasn't been (too) negatively affected by society, due to being different. Still, I exist, I am proof. However, seeking these people with whom you can share your very essence is frightening. When you start seeking, you realize how alone you are. That is why the first step is to understand that being alone doesn't mean being lonely, or incomplete. You have to find your true self, and embrace it. Enjoying every moment to the fullest, doing what you really want to do, and breaking free. Then you will be ready to seek other people, scared once again, but this time finding the bravery you need to proceed inside yourself. I judge I am at that point, so I will start my journey looking for people like me. And this is my first step. If you felt identified and would like to learn and explore together, I would be pleased to talk to you, so feel free to contact me.
A meditator might say to you, "It is possible to transcend that illusion of an I and its meaningless will dissipate". The 'sharing' it seeks is not between I's but in a mutual understanding that all we call 'the universe' is an integrated whole.
There are many 'meditational' movements. The non-religious one 'this speaker' has experienced is the Krishnamurti foundation which is extensively accessible on the internet.
Thank you, fresco.
It is a very interesting concept. I hadn't heard about the Krishnamurti foundation, so I checked it out. I found myself both agreeing and disagreeing with this paragraph,
"The core of Krishnamurti’s teaching is contained in the statement he made in 1929 when he said ‘Truth is a pathless land’. Man cannot come to it through any organization, through any creed, through any dogma, priest or ritual, not through any philosophical knowledge or psychological technique. He has to find it through the mirror of relationship, through the understanding of the contents of his own mind, through observation and not through intellectual analysis or introspective dissection. Man has built in himself images as a fence of security – religious, political, personal. These manifest as symbols, ideas, beliefs. The burden of these images dominates man’s thinking, his relationships and his daily life. These images are the causes of our problems for they divide man from man. His perception of life is shaped by the concepts already established in his mind. The content of his consciousness is his entire existence. This content is common to all humanity. The individuality is the name, the form and superficial culture he acquires from tradition and environment. The uniqueness of man does not lie in the superficial but in complete freedom from the content of his consciousness, which is common to all mankind. So he is not an individual."
I find the second part reasonable, but what I don't agree with is how you can observe your own mind without philosophy, intellectual reflection and introspection.
Sun 5 Jan, 2020 05:47 am
Welcome and good luck to you in finding those interested in more than small talk, politics or the various flavors of philosophical solipsism. As the Buddha says, you are destined for pain and disappointment in this life so just give up and accept it. At times you sound like you have. Not that I agree with his world view, but he has a point.
It might help others to know if they fit what you are looking for if you gave some idea of what your dreams/ideals were, even if you have given up on them. Or have you. It isn't clear from what you wrote.
In any case, I too am at a loss for company interested in anything deeper than the mundane bs of life as we are told it is.
My guess is you are more likely to find truth by looking within rather than online, so what have you found inside so far? Does it fit with the society you find yourself in? Are your dreams compatible with it? What would you change if you could?
Sun 5 Jan, 2020 03:58 pm
What's the meaning of meaning? Meaning? Meaning!
You know like meaning real meaning, the Meaning!
"There's a meaning there but the meaning there doesn't really mean a thing."
Do be, do be, do.
Mon 6 Jan, 2020 02:51 pm
...yeah...it reminds me of that trivial pursuit question, What, what? What!
Has meaning meaning? What kind of oxymoron is that? if you don't believe in meaning you don't point back to it for an explanation!
Tue 7 Jan, 2020 07:56 am
Hey, that beats the barking dogs Christmas crap any day.
I just saw a guy play Jingle Bells by dropping his open end wrenches on the floor. Mostly in tune too.