Woke up this morning...

He was gone before he left
Whoa, woe
When he was gone I didn't notice
Whoa, woe

Woke up this morning
An' put on my feet
Tried to find my stomache
To get something to eat
Gotta find my kidneys
'Cuz I gotta take a piss
Dismemberies are made of this

Woke up this morning,
in a bed of ice.
My kidneys were missing,
and that ain't nice!
I got them living an urban legend blues.

Woke up this morning
Da da da dah
My eyes full of sleep
Da da da dah
Stumbled to make coffee
Da da da dah
It just couldn't keep
Da da da dah

Looked out the window
Da da da dah
Saw the rain pouring down
Da da da dah
How could this happen?
Da da da dah
No coffee grounds

I got the sleepy, ain't got no coffee, it's rain-ing
I'm gonna kill somebody - buhlooos

Woke up this morning the duvet's ravelled round
the rain outside the window makes a sad and gloomy sound
I have to go work now and I'd rather stay in bed
got the moody, gloomy blues and an aching in my head

Woke up this morning and I checked my 401K.
Mutuals are falling, I've been drinking smoothies all day
Lord I just can't seem to shake
These verge-of-retirement, erectile-dysfunction, SUV-insurance paying, vague-malaise induced blues.

Woke up this mornin'
My bladder was queazy
There was gas in the pipeline
And my nose feelin' sneezy

O Lawd gotta he'p me
To get to the john
If I lose my control
My whole house'll be gone

Well I woke up this morning stumbled out of my rack I opened up the paper to the page in the back
It only took a minute for my finger to find My daily dose of destiny, under my sign My eyes just about popped out of my head It said "the stars are stacked against you girl, get back in bed"

Mary Chapin Carpenter

Woke up dis morning with m'cat right in m'face
Pushed 'im off da covers, took a look aroun' da place
Didn't see no spiders, not a mouse or rat in sight
Pussycat's been huntin' 'em all through th' long, dark night

Better git dat cat some kibble, don't want no nibble marks
Up and down dees suntanned legs, don't wanna see no sparks
Comin' from dem green-gold eyes, or feel dose needle claws
Remindin' me to fill th' bowl...(there oughta be some laws)

Ah stumbled to da kitchen, put some water in 'is bowl
He hollered loud as if ta say, "That ain't da right one, Joel!
Fill up my dish! And make it quick!" I scrambled to the fridge
Pulled out a can o' tuna an' I gave 'im jes' a smidge...

I got da wake-em-up, go-'way, lemme-alone, fer-Pete's-sake, okay-I'm-comin', I-hate-dat-damn-cat-in-th'-mornin' blooooooooos........

Don't know why I'm in such a dismemberment mood today, but:

Woke up this morning,
my penis was gone,
Caught it running down the road,
lookin' for some fun

Chased it up to Church and Jarvis, said "Holy crap...
don't come back now, I don't want no clap."
My penis said, "Who da man?"
I said, "Okay dog, do what you can."

My penis realized he had no desire,
without my brain to give him fire,
Came back to me, beggin' for an in,
"Can we reattach, or is that a sin?"

I told him "Son, it's all okay,
stick with me, you'll learn the way."
He jumped into my shorts and made a bond,
and we had hot dreams of a sexy blonde.

I got them aggravating self-righteous detachable penis bloooooos...

Woke up this morning,
You were on my mind.

Oh, wait, that's been done. Never mind...

How about the shortest blues song ever.

Deadmans Blues

I did'nt wake up this morning....

That's a good one Rod.

Woke up this morning,
tripped over the dog.
Went to the can
and squashed off a log.

Then came another,
and a burning gut,
I said to myself,
"This is some rut..."

I got them ate too much Indian food last night blues.

Woke up this morning
wondering if the blues had past.
Used to feel so good on Saturdays
now Mondays come too fast.

woke up this morning
with a hard on
ooooohhhh yeah
dat ol baby is hard

had to go to da bathroom
standin' on my head
what's a boy to do
when he got the rock hard blues

Woke up this mornin'
Still dark outside,
I wondered if the day would
Be a place to run and hide.

'cause I miss my lovin' baby,
He's gone, and I can't shake these blues.

It's a feelin' that goes fallin'
Right down to the soles of my shoes.

It's a feelin' that goes fallin'
All I get is low down news.

Nice song, Letty. I can almost hear you walking around your house, singing those mournful lyrics.

But at least you didn't have to stand on your head.

Good morning, by the way.

Happy May day, gustav,
Good mawnin' from the coast,
And may I say
I luvs you
Cause I digs you ,dear, the most.

Mornin' Gus.

Woke up this mornin
I saw the sun gone shine
Woke up this mornin
The air's like sherry wine
Woke up this mornin
Gone shake the trees of pine
I'm gone bring you back home darlin
Yes I'm gone make you mine

I hoid the rooster crow this mornin
But I already made my bed
I made my roadster go this mornin
All the way to your Mama's shed
As I get close ter yo I'm warnin
I'm gone bring you back home darlin
You'll be mine all the time