Tue 18 Mar, 2014 11:05 pm
My sister has been in an abusive relationship with the same person on and off since she was 16 years old. She is now 28. He has lied to her, cheated on her, abused her physically and mentally and after this last break up which he stole a large sum of money from her to buy drugs because he is also an alcoholic and an addict. After this recent breakup - he messed with her butane gas tank outside of her home and allowed gas to leak out. My sister smokes and if she had flicked her cigarette even close or anything of the like with her lighter... she could have blown up her house and her daughter. So he attempted to murder her and her daughter which is not his own.
This break-up has been painful for her it has been around 6 months or more, and he lives just down the street from her. He has stalked her by driving past her house, called, left texts and whatever. Came buy a few times and she allowed him to come in again. Then stopped coming all together... She has been praying and praying and praying that he would come back into her life.......... and just recently she thinks her prayers were answered by God.
He has come back and they have been hanging out. She thinks that if this was not meant to be why would God answer her prayer? I believe if God did answer it that he is using this man to teach her the lesson she has not yet learned from the other 10 or more times she has left him and taken him back. Each time destroying her life in some shape form or fashion. She has not learned her lesson.
Thank you for listening, but I am really in need of someone to help me understand so that I can help her understand why God would put this abusive man back into her life.
A healthy dosage of atheism is needed here. What she needs is an intervention.
Someone has to help her learn how not to be a victim. She needs serious counseling from a psychiatrist, psychologist or a minister or priest....even a close family member or friend. Can she not see the handwriting on the wall? If she continues on this path, she will end up dead.
God helps those who help themselves.
I am inclined to suggest your sister stop looking for signs that her prayers are answered in day to day matters.
There is always a chance that former partners may pass us by once in a while. If she yearns for her ex and then he appears, then God needs have nothing to do with it, it is mere human nature and day to day occurrence.
What your sister needs is counseling. Abusive relationships have a habit of tricking the victim into emotional handcuffs.
When Jesus was asked by his followers to teach them to pray, he did not include petitions for mundane matters, rather the coming of the kingdom and glorification of his father's name. Personal considerations were left until the end of the prayer, such as supplications for daily provisions and forgiveness of sins. It doesn't make sense to pray for another to behave according to your will or need.
Thank you all for your answers and help. I know that she needs counselling. She has been in and out of bad relationships all of her life and all of them she has left and never went back ..... except for this one.
She told me that she could be pregnant by him now. And that now she doesn't think she can ever get away. She says he tried to kill me when I broke up with him, now just think of how it is going to be when I try to leave him and I could be pregnant with his child.
My parents have tried an intervention with her about him for years. They have not spoken, she has moved away, came back, moved away. All it does is seem to push her farther away even though she knows they are right. She knows I am right and she needs to get away.
I have been begging her to move in with my family (my husband and my daughter) to get away from him for over a year and she will not do it. She says he will just stalk her here as well.
I don't know what to do for her, but I knew that this was not God's doing. He lives right up the street, and he stalked her for 6 years while they were split up - she got married to another man and had her daughter. She divorced and one day he called. He always called periodically for those 6 years and we never answered the phone and she did not talk to him. But after her divorce she let him back in, which is why we are in this situation all over again.
I have been praying for her to heal and for God to give her the sense to move away and get away from him. I have put her on prayer lists. I don't know what else to do to save her from this until she wants to be saved and I am scared by that time it will be too late.
Thanks again for all the replies. I really appreciate it and I'm going to show her your responses when I can get her to listen to me again. I am thankful for all your help.
If there was a god that answered people's prayers, nothing bad would ever happen to Christians. Clearly that's not the case. Buy her a pregnancy test kit. At least remove her possible pregnancy from being a reason for her to stay with him.
No matter what she may think, the guy is never going to change, she's GOT to get away from him. Do you have any relatives in some far-off state she could stay with for awhile if you buy her a one-way ticket?