UW Personal essay

please help me think of things too add or change about my essay to make it stand out and become exceptional. this is a very important school to me

As soon as I took my position, it was instant chaos. The air did not feel relaxing anymore; a new frantic and heavy feeling was now around me. The pool deck was not only now filled with thick air but cluttered with questions, and hiked up emotions. A feeling of a drill sergeant came over me, explaining the plan and how to execute it. I instantly started with getting the girls in the next event to their positions. Quickly searching for the other captains to help, I was slightly distraught as I could not find any of them. It looked as if I was going in alone on this one alone.
The deck was a crowded and loud place to be just as a bystander, these girls were getting instruction in this environment. As soon as the event had started I left that group of girls feeling confident and hopeful that I had given them all that they needed to do their best. I started on the next group, and continued that pattern until the capacity of my own team in the events had slowed down. I stayed behind the blocks, off and on other teams needed help, and I was glad to assist them. The air was still heavy but not as frantic anymore, it felt relaxing after a stressful day.
We completed the meet with one last team cheer and high fives around the pool deck to all the other teams. My coach had then pulled me aside informing me that our team hadn’t missed a single race that day. Even though this might not seem like a big deal to some people, it meant a great deal to me. No missed races felt like the biggest victory in the world. Our first swim meet, was a great accomplishment.
The bus ride back to school was relaxing, and felt of completion. As the day went on I got several messages from my girls expressing their thanks and telling me I was an awesome captain. It was a great feeling to be told I was doing a great job and being good support. Going home thinking of what had happened, I felt like a new person, a new sense of self awareness. Although my teammates and coaches might not have known how much it meant to me, I will never forget that day. I am so proud of my girls, my swimmers, my friends.