Could someone check my essay about Bon Iver for school? Thank you very much :)

Squinchy?

Folky is a real word in dictionary.com but according to the same source squinchy isn't. Slang words are good for blogs, informal magazine essays, etc... but are usually frowned on in an academic setting no matter if its high school or college.

Just curious, what grade and class is this essay for? It doesn't seem that you are writing a college level essay as your essay seems to be lacking a thesis sentence.



Also, what and where did you source the details of this paper from? It seems like you put the wikipedia article into a pot of water and boiled it down to a mere few paragraphs. So for future essays that need to be longer, you should try and mine magazine articles, books about the subject, radio interview transcripts, etc....

As for the essay we have here? I didn't notice any glaring grammatical mistakes. The tone was a bit too informal for what I expect for a school essay with the few cases of passive voice. But all of that doesn't matter depending on what kind and level the class this essay is due for.

Justin Vernon began recording under the name of Bon Iver following the breakup of DeYarmond Edison, an indie folk group similar in tone and manner to Iron & Wine and Little Wings. Vernon's solo project took DeYarmond Edison's introspective, folky sound and embellished it with squinchy, quirky orchestral touches that nodded to Sparklehorse and the drifty optimism of the Flaming Lips. Vernon moved back to Wisconsin the winter following DeYarmond's demise, setting up camp in a remote cabin in the north woods for three months. It was a hugely generative period for Vernon; [I would use a colon here] writing and recording songs in 12-hour bursts, he found himself with a nine-song debut album by spring. He dubbed the project Bon Iver (an intentional misspelling of the French for "good winter" – bon hiver), and the disc, For Emma, Forever Ago, was released on [a] label named Jagjaguwar [or on the Jagjaguwar label] in early 2008. Joined in his live shows by Sean Carey, Vernon toured throughout the eastern U.S. and Canada throughout the remainder of the year, sharing the stage with like-minded singer/songwriter Elvis Perkins. As the year progressed, the album became quite popular with both the buying public and critics, eventually landing on a number of "best of 2008" year-end lists. In January 2009, Bon Iver returned with an EP of old and new songs titled Blood Bank. When it came time to return to Vernon's own music, he continued with composing orchestral, lushly arranged folk songs that turned their back [backs] on For Emma's sound. The new tunes were released during the following summer as Bon Iver. It received generally positive reviews, topped the charts in several countries, and hit number two in America. In February 2012, Bon Iver won two Grammy awards: Best Alternative Album and Best New Artist. In November 2012 the band announced a long lasting break by going on stage at their last gig of UK tour in Dublin, [at the last gig of their UK and Ireland tour in Dublin] [Ireland isn't in the UK] confirming previous speculation and rumours by fans that began circulating in September 2012. In early 2013 their label confirmed that the band has [had] broken up because of their need to spend more time with their families, especially with their wives and children, who were suffering for [the] sake of Bon Iver’s international success. What is so special about Bon Iver is that the only thing they're [they are] focused on is music. No fancy clothes or music videos, no magazine covers and interviews, no crazy screaming fans, only good quality music with meaning. They don't [do not] need massive attention of [from] media or social networks to sell-out their gigs, their music speaks for itself. If you watch [one watches] live streaming of their performances, you can see [one can see] huge groups of people singing along to their manly slow, folky sounding lyrics and enjoying elements that make their stage look quite interesting and eye-catching, such as concert fog in different colours and laser lights that follow the rhythm and feel of music, making it even more touching. Although [the] band has broken up [broke up] in early 2013, their For Emma, Forever Ago and Bon Iver still top the singer/songwriter and indie/folk charts and will be remembered as some of the best and most influential albums of those sub-genres.

Thank you so much for taking some time to actually read my thread and answer it, I really appreciate that.

I'm grade 8, going to Montessori school in Croatia. Our school is certified as Cambridge Examination Centre, so along other subjects we have in Croatian, we also have Cam. English, Cam. Maths and Science.
This is a homework I have to do for my Cam. English class.

Oops, I googled that word before and it turned out to be a slang, so I removed that adjective from sentence, but it seems like I forgot to save changes and posted the old version (thanks for pointing that out anyway).

I've found the most of information from some magazines I'm reading, music reviews and their official biography. Teacher said that we should make it as short as possible (max. 3 paragraphs), so when you print it on paper it's not more than one page.
I wish I could've written some more because I like long and detailed essays, but this one is meant to be shorter.

Thank you

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it.

Esvenomx, your English is really good, and you have clearly worked hard on your essay. Well done.