My wife had an online affair. How do I cope with all of the questions and doubts that I have?

I am so surprised how are you men do not understand that if sex was good at home - women would be not having it in cyberspace!
It is not our fault most of the time. You kicking our sexuality to the curb and then making 'surprised face when finding that 'she cheated'.
Divorce? Seriously? And then another divorce?

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Quote:

I am so surprised how are you men do not understand that if sex was good at home - women would be not having it in cyberspace!
It is not our fault most of the time. You kicking our sexuality to the curb and then making 'surprised face when finding that 'she cheated'.
Divorce? Seriously? And then another divorce?

Eliusa there are many, many factors why women cheat, or men for that matter. Sometimes it's emotional, sometimes it's never being told you look beautiful, sometimes it's lonliness whilst the male works 24/7 seemingly.. Sex is sex. Making love and intimacy is totally different, it adds sensuality and sexuality and often women needs that outside the bedroom as well as within.

Women are wired differently. Most men will tell you "they don't get women".. Men have emotions too which are often ignored as they are supposed to be the "man"..

Try to tell a person that communication and working hard on a relationship would provide a lot that is missing and they more than likely take the easy road instead, if they are not prepared to fight...

Like we tried to tell you...

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Ok, you had not addressed what I said
' if sex was good at home - women would be not having it in cyberspace'
she was apparently looking for sex. Not anything else.

The fact that men have emotions too have nothing to do with a subject. Here is the woman who cheated and man who asking why.

And I worked hard and I am still working and it doesn't frikking work!
Because men don't LISTEN!!! And if they listen they don't HEAR!!!

2 Replies

@Eliusa,

Yes I did, you just can't read into what I wrote.

Do you marry someone for sex Eliusa? So you are suggesting she only wanted sex.... You only want sex. You are speaking of yourself. You have a "good" husband according to you, that treats you like a baby sexually and doesn't turn you on, so you've gone elsewhere.

In all your replies, you speak only about yourself.

Quote:

The fact that men have emotions too have nothing to do with a subject. Here is the woman who cheated and man who asking why.

Oh yes it does. He's emotionally upset and he's asking why. And you think it can only be one thing. Sex.. Not a lack of laughter, intimacy, sensuality, two people being as one, but purely sex..

Quote:

And I worked hard and I am still working and it doesn't frikking work!
Because men don't LISTEN!!! And if they listen they don't HEAR!!!

Is the other guy listening? The one you went to because you worked hard on your husband but it didn't work?

I have one rule. If it doesn't work and you've given 100% you walk away...

In that, you can do so knowing you've done everything. But you don't stay, cheat because it's easier to do that, financially or otherwise.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Excuse me, dear, you wrote:
' You have a "good" husband according to you, that treats you like a baby sexually and doesn't turn you on, so you've gone elsewhere'
and I said millions of times that I wasn't going anywhere. For 22 years I had never thought or had been attracted to another man. Ever!
What had happened to me was an absolute accident. I am 48 now and as someone told me it is some hormonal age when woman is...hormonal. So.
I was a perfect wife for all these years and now I am a whore? Just because I was so not demanding sexually and now I am!

It is unfair to treat my case like you do. Or other bitter from cheating of their spouses people here. I can not really understand how can you be bitter after years passed by, second marriage and all. And they claim they are happy!
However spending most of their time HERE reading others 'affairs'.

2 Replies

@Eliusa,

You want to turn this into some kind of drama...FS never called you a whore...this is all you avoiding the real issue...deflecting.

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Quote:

However spending most of their time HERE reading others 'affairs'.

Yes, that is what you have done are doing.

You seem to need validity that it's "ok" to cheat.

Do you think that we are so naïve or stupid to not realise that people fall out of love, that marriages can turn to friendship, that things go wrong...

It's life. But, you put 100% back into it, give it your best, give it a go, why did you marry to start with if you were not prepared to do that.

If that doesn't work, then you can feel 100% satisfied that you tried and in that, move on.

Cheating is not acceptable. There are hidden agendas, such as kids/money, hidden.

You can not have a bit of fun (unless he agrees that you can) then go back into the cobwebs again.

What's more important is that you shouldn't have cobwebs and things should be happy and fun if you can't get yourself together and work it out, then you are not in the right relationship and will do this again.

Get a grip and stop trying to justify that cheating is OK it is not OK.

There are two people in this relationship not just you. It's called your husband.

2 Replies

@Germlat,

I don't have to be called anything, I know how you look at me and I don't give a damn!

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Yes, that is what you have done are doing???
I didn't get it.

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

That's fine with me. I don't see how that has anything to do with the subject.

0 Replies

@Eliusa,

Eliusa wrote:

Yes, that is what you have done are doing???
I didn't get it.

Have done, are doing?....I don't get what you're trying yo say. Sober up and come back with a reasonable response.

2 Replies

@Germlat,

You sober up.
What ta **** is 'Yes, that is what you have done are doing???'

0 Replies

@Germlat,

looks like E was quoting FS - and there is some punctuation missing from Foundy's post

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

this is Foundy's response to E (with added punctuation)

FOUND SOUL wrote:

Quote:
However spending most of their time HERE reading others 'affairs'.

Yes, that is what you have done / are doing.

You seem to need validity that it's "ok" to cheat.

FS is telling E that she (E) is spending time reading about other's affairs - and is looking for people who say it is ok to cheat, so that her (E's) desire to cheat is validated.

(not saying any of this is the case, just saying how I read the start of Foundygirl's post)

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

ehBeth wrote:

looks like E was quoting FS - and there is some punctuation missing from Foundy's post

She is reactive without giving a possible explanation as usual....she's incapable of defending her position. It all comes down to emotion and hormones.

0 Replies

@Eliusa,

Eliusa wrote:

Ok, you had not addressed what I said
' if sex was good at home - women would....

And I worked hard and I am still working and it doesn't frikking work!
Because men don't LISTEN!!! And if they listen they don't HEAR!!!

"

Apparently all men are the same to you except the one you're screwing who happens to have a wife LOL....you say if sex was good at home...what about YOUR HOME?

2 Replies

@Germlat,

Are you stupid? I said I have no sex...at home that is Wink

You know it seems you do not read, you are just spewing your hate
and it is becoming boring and tiresome.
I said 1000 times I have no sex, I said another 1000 times things that you keep asking about like you can't READ!!!

0 Replies

@Germlat,

Yes, men all the same except some can **** and some can't!

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Eliusa wrote:

Yes, men all the same except some can **** and some can't!

Really? ...you poor thing. Do you think all us women are the same? Is that why your boyfriend is not spending Christmas with you but rather his wife? My guess is your husband is also screwing someone else...what a happy situation. But you're so enamored with yourself you can't see it.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Never was my strongest point, then again can't be a perfect Gemini, thanks mam.

2 Replies

My wife had an online affair. How do I cope with all of the questions and doubts that I have?

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