@contrex,
contrex wrote:
It reads like something a machine might produce. Also, "Myriad-li" does not mean anything. (Is it someone's name?) The overall mood is somewhat depressing and gloomy, so if that was the intention then it is successful I suppose.
Li - China's "mile"- one li is about 500 meters.
Well, the poem is a failure in your ear except:
The last half of the original Chinese is indeed depressing and gloomy. But the first half of it is powerful and elegant. Because it means:
The wind so swift and sky so wide,, apes wail and cry;
Water so clear and beach so white, birds wheel and fly.
The boundless forest sheds its leaves shower by shower;
The endless river rolls its waves hour after hour.