And Now For Something Completely Different

wierd

my gosh



always some excuse to put down the black cats.

humph

Ion Balasa, 64, explained that there are two ways to stop a vampire, but only one after he or she has risen to feed.

"Before the burial, you can insert a long sewing needle, just into the bellybutton," he said. "That will stop them from becoming a vampire."

But once they've become vampires, all that's left is to dig them up, use a curved haying sickle to remove the heart, burn the heart to ashes on an iron plate, then have the ill relatives drink the ashes mixed with water.

"The heart of a vampire, while you burn it, will squeak like a mouse and try to escape," Balasa said. "It's best to take a wooden stake and pin it to the pan, so it won't get away."

we always use Ron popeils Rotisserie. You tie up the vampires heart on thhe spit , you put it in the rest area, and then yslide it back into the rotisseries position.


THEN YOU SET IT.......

yeah, but does a vampire heart really squeak like a mouse when you burn it?

Not a place I care to visit.

Wouldn't zapping the heart in a microwave be more efficient than all this rigamarole with burning on an iron plate? We're living in a high-tech age, folks. Let's take advantage of it.

What I want to know is how they figured out that the correct method of remedy was the cutting with the scyle, burning down to ashes, then mixing with water and drinking?
Was there a committee involved?
Were mistakes made? (Oh, Sergucho and his family screwed up, they got the heart cut out, but they only chopped it up and mixed it with garlic and tomatoes. What a mess! and they were vampires within the month.)

And what was the conversation like the first time?

Okay, we burned the heart. Now what shall we do with the ashes?
"I know! I know!!"
What Maritita?
"Let's mix them with water and then drink the water!!"
.....long pause.....

Yah, sounds right to me. Pass the ashes.

===


I'm going back to bed. I'm just sleeping, okay?? Leave that knitting needle alone.


Joe

How would vampire heart be on a George Foreman grill I wonder?

broiled to perfection Cav and no messy grease either...:-)

joe, they said this of the first guy who ate a tomato.

Hey, farmerman, help me out here. Have you ever heard that tapioca in it's raw state is poisonous and they only found out how good it was (?) to eat because some natives tried to kill someone with it by cooking it and putting some in their enemies' food? I know I heard this when I was a kid, but now I can't find anything on it.

And I told my kids when they were little........and now they think their dad is nuts.

Not for just this example, of course, but if I could just,,,,,

I know that tapioca (manioc) root contains lethal amounts of cyanide , but this **** smells really vile and is easily detected in cooking. When its cooked out, the tapioca is the product. I didnt ever hear about poisoning your neighbors.
Dads can make stuff up and tell their kids cause its what we do. If theyre gonna be such "sticklers for truth" let em go into politics. I think your story, if not true, ought to be. (and I have no reason to doubt you.because as Mcgentrix said, "absence of presidents is not presence of abstinance" or something like that.

Manioc! That's the word I'm looking for. I think.


If you think the first guy to eat a tomato was brave, you should have seen me the first time my yogi wife offered me

Tofutti Soy Carob Ice Dream.


I took a big spoonful.

Tastes as good as it looks.