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Should I let my husband sleep with another woman.

 
 
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 11:16 am
I have been with my husband since we were 16. We are now married and have 2 daughters. I have noticed lately he has been looking at other woman and porn a lot more.. Especially since I just had a baby. We have a god sex life. He has only been with me and I know he would like to have sex with another woman. We are planning to go to Las Vegas next year and I know they have the bunny ranch, should I let him go there? Should I offer to have a threesome? We have talked about this and he says it wouldn't ruin our marriage or make him stray. Thoughts , comments!
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 11:16 am
@BabyCakes,
Cripes, this is a question?
BabyCakes
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 11:31 am
@jespah,
Yes this is a question. We are young and I do not want him to regret anything in his life. I want him to be happy. He does everything to make me happy , I want to make sure he is.
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 12:01 pm
@BabyCakes,
If he wanted to sleep with other women, he should have stayed single. You are nuts to even entertain the idea of giving him your blessing to sleep with someone else. How can he claim to love you if in the next breath he wants to sleep with someone else. (But honey, I just need to do this. After all, I've been faithful all these years. Don't I deserve a little sex on the side. You know, just to see what it is like?)

I've been married for over 30 years. I've never slept with anyone other than the woman I am married to and have never considered sleeping with another. Why? BECAUSE I LOVE MY WIFE ABOVE ANYTHING ELSE.

But hey, do whatever you want. It is your lives you are screwing up.
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 12:04 pm
@CoastalRat,
Quote:
But hey, do whatever you want. It is your lives you are screwing up.
(not to mention the two daughters, who can use mommy as a role model down the line...)
0 Replies
 
RealEyes
 
  0  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 03:41 pm
@BabyCakes,
Have you strayed before? I get the sensation you've had more experiences than your husband.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
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Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 03:43 pm
@BabyCakes,
What do you think about it?
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maxdancona
 
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Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 03:58 pm
@jespah,
Spouses don't control each other so whether a wife should "let" her husband sleep with someone else is rather moot. The question I suppose is whether a wife should end a marriage with a husband for sleeping with someone else.

There are couples that make an agreement about who they will sleep with outside the marriage. This seems like a decent thing to do. I know couples who have had this discussion after many years of marriage.

I think it is good for a couple to discuss this.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
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Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 03:59 pm
@CoastalRat,
This is a very narrow view. There are many open marriages for many reasons. There are few humans who are truly monogamous.

In my view having an honest agreement about sex outside the marriage is better than divorce... and it is certainly better about having an affair behind your spouse's back.

Rockhead
 
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Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:03 pm
@maxdancona,
it's better than getting hit by a bus, as well.

but not a great idea for strengthening a marriage.

especially a marriage of young people with young children involved...
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:06 pm
@Rockhead,
What the heck does that mean?

Each marriage involves two people. You can't make broad generalization about what is best for a marriage. Each marriage is different and only the people involved have any business saying what is good for them.

Americans are such prudes.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:07 pm
@maxdancona,
have you been married, max?
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:08 pm
@Rockhead,
I am currently married, does it matter?
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:09 pm
@maxdancona,
to your wife, I would guess.

do you sleep around?
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:12 pm
@Rockhead,
That is between me and my wife.
Rockhead
 
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Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:14 pm
@maxdancona,
exactly.

I don't see how sleeping with another woman can fix anything that is wrong with a marriage.

much like fixing your car by deciding to tow a trailer with it...
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:15 pm
@maxdancona,
maxdancona wrote:
Each marriage is different and only the people involved have any business saying what is good for them.


yup

that's why I'd like to know what the OP thinks
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maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:17 pm
@Rockhead,
There is nothing the OP says that would indicate there is anything wrong with the marriage. I think you are inserting your prejudices and mischaracterizing the original question.

He obviously respects her enough to be honest with her (rather than cheating). He obviously cares enough to assure her that he doesn't think this will end the marriage. She obviously loves and respects him enough to consider what he is saying. And, she says the sex is good.

These are all signs of a healthy, honest relationship to me.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
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Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:17 pm
@Rockhead,
Rockhead wrote:
I don't see how sleeping with another woman can fix anything that is wrong with a marriage.


depends on the couple what works/doesn't work

I'm a proponent of discussing this kind of thing at the beginning of a relationship but when people get into permanent relationships really young the discussion has to happen later once they've grown up more (and hopefully not apart).
Rockhead
 
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Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 04:23 pm
@ehBeth,
I'm not suggesting that it can't work out well for all concerned, but...

I've seldom seen it stay the course without someone getting hurt.

good luck to all parties involved...
0 Replies
 
 

 
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