How can I stay with my bf who emotionally cheated on me?

Reply Wed 27 Feb, 2013 02:02 am
Hi all,
My bf and I have been together 1 year and half and our relationship has been great. We would have arguments here and there but we were always together for the most of part (we've been living together). I know my bf loves me very much and I am really close with his family. My bf always told me that he is gonna marry me and that's the end of it. However, few weeks ago, he started to get txt msgs around 6am from some girl saying "gmorning baby" or what not. For few days, I tried to tell myself that she might be a friendly coworker. As the stupid txts continued for a while, I confronted him and told him I need to check through his cell phone. And I did check through his cell phone and guess what...all the msgs with that person were gone. He said he deleted all that msgs in case I get upset but seriously I am not the type of girl who gets upset from my bf talking to other girls as long as it's within the boundary. I told him to tell her not to send txt so early or late at night since we are living together and it's kinda rude. But few days later, he got the txt from the same girl at night and this time I got pissed. That day, I checked through his phone - txts, phone calls, and everything. I found out that he was flirting with his ex and other girls as if I was not there. Even though his ex knows I am with him, he would ask her to come to chill or say that she was in his dream. I am not so mad about the fact that he's been talking to his ex but it was sad that he initiated all the moves towards her. For other girls, he pretended as if we broke up and told them how previous relationships with them were better than the "supposedly broken" relationship we were having that time. After that I got really upset and mad so I needed to kick him out (anyways I've been paying all the rent). He begged me to take him back and since I really love him I took him back. But ever since we got back together, I don't feel happy anymore and feel secure about our relationship. It's gonna really hurt to break up with him so I don't know what I should do at this point. Will I be able to get over his emotional cheating and stay together?
Reply Wed 27 Feb, 2013 07:38 am
He's got an awesome life.

He gets to live rent-free at your place, presumably with sex and meals and the like, too. And then he flirts with a buncha girls and tells them that life sucks with you. Whether that gets him anything more than sympathy and a hearty handshake is unknown. You kick him out. But then you let him back in, to his awesome life of no rent-paying! Score one for him!

All he has to pay for his bullshit is you occasionally looking through his phone and, presumably, being in some fights with him.

Why, again, are you hanging out with him at all?
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Reply Sat 5 Oct, 2013 02:24 pm
Hey girl,
what your bf did was very low, by going behind your back and texting things he shouldnt have he was in the wrong. Now i cant say much on that fact whether you should break up with him or not because i have only been in a few relationships. But if your man is treating you this way, its best to take a step back and view the relationship as a whole. It might hurt to break up with him right now but think about it, you can start fresh with someone new who will probably treat you better than this guy has. Now im not saying that you should break up, its up to you but if your not happy and you dont feel trust in your relationship there are some real red flags standing out. The guy might be able to change but there is always the possibility that he might do it again. What i suggest is talking to him about maybe getting counseling for your relationship so you can try to mend bonds broken between the two of you. I dont know if anything i just said has helped answer any of your questions but i wish you the best girl and a happy future whatever path you chose to take Smile
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Reply Sat 5 Oct, 2013 02:35 pm
In five or ten years' time, do you want to be going through his belongings to find proof of his cheating on you? If he's sending and receiving the type of texts you describe, then there's a good chance he'll continue doing so. You are still in the early years of a relationship - if he's bored now, and playing away, then he's not going to get quit as time goes by, he's bound to get worse.

Do yourself a favour and get out of the relationship now. Find a decent guy who'll love and cherish you, and treat you with the respect you deserve.

Good luck.
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Reply Sat 11 Jan, 2014 05:11 pm
Blame the rain. It will be gentle in return. It/the rain

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Reply Thu 27 Mar, 2014 07:15 pm
Wow this sounds just like the relationship I'm in at the moment. Same with me paying rent and everything and we're still together. He never physically cheated on me but I know he has flirted with other girls and sexted with them. Please tell me what you ended up deciding to do. I could use some advice. <3 xoxo
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