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Dads of A2K, I'm curious

Forums: Fatherhood, Family, Childcare, Parenting, Children
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 08:04 pm
@maxdancona,
That is an excellent question. I'm going to have to ponder it a bit.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  4  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 08:16 pm
@maxdancona,
maxdancona wrote:
Let me ask the obvious counter example. What about the real biological father in the example. He has a kid he never knew existed for 9 years.

Should he be exempt from paying child support seeing as how he is no longer the real father?

Personally, I think that if this hypothetical fellow doesn't want to pay child support, then he should make sure he's not impregnating anyone.

Keep in in his pants, or wrap it in a condom, or get a vasectomy.

The money he pays is unlikely to compensate for the emotional upheaval caused.
DrewDad
 
  4  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 08:32 pm
@DrewDad,
I should add:

The feelings of the father are not a consideration when calculating child support. The well-being of the child is the primary consideration.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 08:36 pm
@DrewDad,
DrewDad wrote:

maxdancona wrote:
Let me ask the obvious counter example. What about the real biological father in the example. He has a kid he never knew existed for 9 years.

Should he be exempt from paying child support seeing as how he is no longer the real father?

Personally, I think that if this hypothetical fellow doesn't want to pay child support, then he should make sure he's not impregnating anyone.

Keep in in his pants, or wrap it in a condom, or get a vasectomy.

The money he pays is unlikely to compensate for the emotional upheaval caused.
because it is so fair to make the guy give up sexual pleasure (either totally with no sex or partly with a condom) or commit to never having kids and have an operation to solve a problem that the woman could solve with a pill....either contraception or the morning after pill...

Women regulate both furtility and the continuation of a pregnacy, and they should not be allowed to make men pay for babies they do not want. After science levels the playing field some with a pill that prevents men from being fathers then maybe we can go back to thinking of the creatiion of a child to be equally the responsibilty of the man and the woman.
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 08:40 pm
@DrewDad,
Drew,

Bingo for giving the proper good guy answer even if it is a little simplistic. You have clearly been well trained but you are missing the point of the question.

The man who didn't impregnate this woman is liable because he has a relationship with the child.

The man who doesn't have a relationship with the child is liable because he impregnated this woman.

Do you see the logical problem here?
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 08:42 pm
@DrewDad,
Quote:

Keep in in his pants, or wrap it in a condom, or get a vasectomy.

The money he pays is unlikely to compensate for the emotional upheaval caused.


I am also a little taken aback by the fact you don't feel the woman has any responsibility in this matter.
DrewDad
 
  4  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 09:24 pm
@hawkeye10,
lulz.

If a man doesn't want to pay for a baby he doesn't want, then maybe he should make sure not to have any babies he doesn't want.

What a little whiner you are.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  2  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 09:26 pm
@maxdancona,
<yawn>

The same tired arguments proposed by would-be deadbeat parents.
DrewDad
 
  2  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 09:27 pm
@maxdancona,
maxdancona wrote:
I am also a little taken aback by the fact you don't feel the woman has any responsibility in this matter.

I'm a little taken aback that you'd think that, since I haven't said a word about it.

Strawman, much?
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  3  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 09:29 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:
because it is so fair to make the guy give up sexual pleasure (either totally with no sex or partly with a condom)

We expect people to limit their activities in all sorts of ways. I can't drive my car as fast as I'd like. David can't just pull out his gun and start shooting tin cans.

You don't like being responsible for your actions? Too bad.
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 09:33 pm
@DrewDad,
Quote:
You don't like being responsible for your actions? Too bad.
When it comes to sexual matters in America equality of responsibility has long since left the building....this is a problem for me.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 09:34 pm
@DrewDad,
Quote:

The same tired arguments proposed by would-be deadbeat parents.


Cut with the ad hominems.
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 09:38 pm
Here in Arizona, you are not financially responsible for a child who is not your biological offspring, unless you adopt the child. So, if you are married to the mother at the time of birth, but are in fact not the father, you should not have an obligation to pay child support in the event of a divorce.
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 10:05 pm
@Ticomaya,
Wait, what? Arizona? I thought you were from Kansas.
DrewDad
 
  4  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 10:14 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:
because it is so fair to make the guy give up sexual pleasure (either totally with no sex or partly with a condom) or commit to never having kids and have an operation to solve a problem that the woman could solve with a pill....either contraception or the morning after pill...

I'm fascinated by this idea that a man should be able to have consequence-free sex because of birth control.

Family planning has only been around for a figurative eye-blink. Millions of years of evolution, thousands of years of oral and written history, and 50 years of "the pill."

For the vast majority of our history, having sex has meant potentially condemning her to death during childbirth.

And here you are whining because you don't want to wear a condom. You're not the paragon of manhood you think you are.
Finn dAbuzz
 
  2  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 10:20 pm
Any father that could abandon a child he loved and raised for 9 years because he found out his wife lied to him would get no respect from me, but I don't think he should be legally obligated to support the child.

Max asks a very good question: what about the mother?

0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 10:36 pm
@DrewDad,
Law and responsibility should reflect our morals as we live today, so I don't give a damn for how long science has made men not responsible for the birth of a child. Today no woman has a child unless she wants to, but the only means men have to avoid childbirth according to our fucked up law come at expense to his quality of life, for no reason other that we choose to not practice equality in sex law.
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 10:43 pm
@DrewDad,
DrewDad wrote:
Wait, what? Arizona? I thought you were from Kansas.

Moved to the desert about 4 years ago, DD.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Sep, 2011 10:53 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:
Today no woman has a child unless she wants to,

Same thing's true for a man.

Sounds equitable to me.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2011 03:45 am
@boomerang,
boomerang wrote:
I can't imagine someone telling a kid "So long, it's been good to know you."


I'm surprised that you believe this. Plenty of moms and dads who are the biological parents of children do this every year.
 

 
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