Left Handed Compliments

"... when the sharp-tongued Benjamin Disraeli, so the story goes, was ordered in the last century to withdraw his declaration that half of the cabinet were asses. `Mr. Speaker, I withdraw,' was Disraeli's response. `Half the cabinet are not asses.'"

"These are good tamales, but I don't like them."

My mother on someone else's tamales.

Good morning, folks. I have really enjoyed reading the witty responses here. I especially love the ones that show the barely masked barbs of the Mama cook.

Noddy, I am amazed that Pope gave us the weeping willow.

My grandmother was the queen of left handed compliments.There is so little that I remember of her, because I suppressed most of it. She was eternally embarrassing me in front of my friends, but my Dad finally got her. Although quite straight laced, she did take a little toddy before going to bed, and my Dad always bought the booze for her. She was visiting us one summer and the local minister came by to visit. My dad walked in and greeted the reverend and Ganny. (that's what we called her). "My, he said. "You look quite lovely, Ganny. and here's your liquor." Upon which, he dropped the small bottle in her lap. Baaaadddddd Dad.

Once I had to write an employee evaluation for a really nice guy who was a doofus.

I wrote,

This year,___________ is becoming competent in his position.

Phoenix, I love it. It's difficult to "hit" the nice guys. You certainly handled that with delicacy and aplomb. Wonder if doofus got it?

Something I said about food as a kid:

That was so good I never need to have it ever again.

cj, brussel sprouts, right?

My dad and his brother when invited out to dinner tried to impress the hostess with a remark that they thought sounded really mature:

That was pretty good such as it t'was.
That was great what there was of it.

Another time we went to a friend of my parents. She had worked all day on this spaghetti sauce. When asked how I liked it, I said it was good but I liked my nanny's better.

When we got home, my Mom asked my nanny how she made her sauce. It was Chef Boyardee...

Left handers are the best. A left handed compliment should = a very good compliment, or "a compliment that achieves its design excellently." Or something.

Left is the best direct. Down with right. Boo.

You have beautiful eyes, too bad there nothing behind them.

Me? When've you looked at my eyes?

Hey, Ceili. Too bad that your comment is often sooooo true. "....a beautiful dome with nobody home...."

Hey, ferret. This ain't no political thread. You're adorable, but you're twisted.

I bought a raincoat. I asked for an opinion. My girl friend said "fine, its just the bits sticking out top and bottom."

Hey, Steve. That's what I call a "mac" attack.

My all time favorite LHC's (left hand compliments)
are :

(After an agonizing dance and grateful that it was
over)
" You sure don't sweat much foir a fat girl"

and

(to me at a very crowded and hot class reunion)

Ron, I really like your cologne but (whispering)
" I have to tell you you are GAINING ON IT".

Eek!

This just happened to me while out with a friend and our kids -- he saw a mom he knew from a class and said, sotto-voiced (he knows the trick now of mouthing words with no voice, since I just lipread anyway), "She's really nice, but tooo.... perfect. She's like the Martha Stewart of moms. Annoying." So, either I am a bad mom, or annoying in my good-mom-ness. Hmph.

Wait, I guess that's a left-handed insult... now I'm confusing myself...

My friend used to live next door to a rather rough and ready family and didn't really like her daughter playing with theirs. The girls were about 3 years old.

One day she and the neighbour were hanging out their washing when she heard her daughter say to the child next door in a loud clear voice ' My mummy doesn't like you she thinks you're rough and common ... but I like you'

Oh, my gorsh, Ron, sweatin' to the oldies.

Vivien and Soz. Never--NEVER say anything in front of children that you don't want repeated loud and clear in public.

One of my girlfriends recently told me she wasn't a bad girl til she met me.

I told her I didn't believe that for a minute cuz she was too good at it.