Left Handed Compliments

everyday Letty

Well, husker. This is just for fun. Give us an example.

I could say to you:

Hey, husker. I love your cap, but it just doesn't fit your face.

You write beautifully for a left hander.

cjhsa, I like that backward slant, but it's difficult to read.(actually said to my daughter)

Not exactly, but good story...

Bought my kids some CDs to make good on a Christmas promise. Played one of them in the car on the way back home.

Said I to eldest kid "I know this is the kiss of death for the music, but I, your father, like this..."

Eldest kid replied "No Dad, that's OK. It would've been the kiss of death iff Mom had said that..."

"You're awfully competitive for a woman..."
(said to me by a male client in a room full of men)

Goaded by response to one of my short stories on a2k I sent it to the writer's Digest manuscript review process, for a fee. The responding agent would be known to some of you - He has over a million books in print. He started off telling me what a good story it is. Then he began to disect it. He said that if he were compiling a set of shorts for a book he would probably include it in there. He finished up by letting me know he did not really like the story, so, I had the option to contact Writer's Digest service to demand a refund.

foot in mouth
Several years ago, during an official gathering of corporate board members (of which I was a member) with a high mucky-muck man from Canada, the fool opened his remarks by saying "I'm so happy to be here with this group of intelligent men and beautiful women."

Without a word or a glance at each other, the women rose from their chairs and walked out of the room.

Startled, our male colleagues rush outside to persuade us to return. The male idiot put his foot further in his mouth by apologizing and saying he really admired the handsome men and bright women.

We all just looked at each other and laughed, knowing there was no hope for that man.

BBB

Years ago I taught in an all-girls prep school. One of my duties of resident faculty was presiding over a table of eight--the girls rotated tables every week.

One evening the conversational topic was "If you could live at any time in history, when would it be...."

I was asked my opinion and replied that before a time of antibiotics, I'd probably have died young. Further I was nearsighted enough to trip over my own feet and be a cripple, a drain on the clan.

An outspoken Junior proclaimed, "Oh, no, Miss J. You'd be a great white witch and everyone would be scared to death to abandon you."

I treasure that remark.

'You're like Sylvia Plath...

... too feminist and most likely to end up in an oven.'

Heh! Heh! Thanks folks. I don't think there's a person on this forum or in real life who has not been complimented and insulted at the same time.

Wish I could remember the name of the musician who told another:

Hey, man. Your tone's lousy, BUT your ideas stink. I think the guy beamed with pleasure until it sank in what had been said.

When I was in TV, there was a promoter who came to be interviewed about a universal product. She was a real bitch. She watched our band being taped, and I sang. Later she was listening to some commercials that I had done in the radio studio. My husband had said that the voice over was that of his wife. She told him:

Well, I'll say one thing. Your wife is a lot better than your band's vocalist.

BIG TIME SILENCE!

"I see you got your hair cut" I said, and added "Do it yourself?"

"I will cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you."

Rog, I swear. laughin. Do you cut your own hair? I do!

Craven, that's one of them you don't know that you been hit until later

(on the golf course)

"Wow, you really hit the ball long. Does swearing at it like that help?"

Frank Apisa would appreciate that, cj.

LOL...my mother in law made a career out of doing this to me, there are so many I can't count. Justice came when she moved half a world away, and I am still here having the last laugh

Hey, Mari. Oh, what tales we could tell about mothers-in law.

LOL...my Dad says mine could cause a disturbance in an empty room...and he's right! He told her that one time, but she didn't get it. ROTFL!

She lived with us for a time and I used to give her a glass of wine every night, just so she would go to sleep...yeah I know...I am mean