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Not Judging..No opinion?

 
 
JPhil
 
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2011 06:09 pm
I just want to get your opinion on this. What I've been hearing from people is this idea of " Don't judge me." I've just recently contemplated on it and am a bit confused. How can I not judge? I'm thinking judging is just giving your opinion about a matter. Also this supposed idea of "we have no right to judge." I don't see anyway I can stop thinking or speaking about my own opinion. Any thought?
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2011 06:40 pm
@JPhil,
You can't avoid judging unless you are a turnip. It really comes down to how you try to impose your judgements on others.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2011 06:54 pm
@JPhil,
Yes, I agree with roger. There are two kinds of judgment.

1.) Nonverbal/ internal. Of course this happens.

2.) Verbal/external. This is the kind that would usually get a "don't judge me" response -- you have no only formed a judgement but have seen fit to tell someone about it.

You can't control your thoughts but you can definitely control your speech. If you think that gay sex is gross, that's different from telling a gay person "I think you're disgusting."

Not all judgment is bad, though -- I think it can be valuable to speak up in judgment, too. Depends on many things.
Setanta
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2011 07:01 pm
@JPhil,
Yeah, i have a thought, a couple of them, in fact. Those people who say don't judge me are being hypocritical, although they may not be sufficiently self-aware to see it. By choosing to associate with some people and not with others, you have made a judgment, whether or not you acknowledge it.

Additionally, we all judge constantly, throughout the day. We decide what we want for breakfast, we decide how we'll get to work, we decide what we'll do now and what we'll put off until later. It is ludicrous to suggest that anyone try to be "non-judgmental."
JPhil
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2011 12:31 pm
@sozobe,
I agree. We should judge and tell our opinion. I think it's just those people who feel offended by another view, that would want someone not to speak. But they will only allow the judgments of those who agree with their view to speak.
sozobe
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2011 12:35 pm
@JPhil,
Well, that's not what I was saying.

I was saying that it is appropriate in SOME situations.

That's not a throwaway, that's central.

I think it's inappropriate and offensive to judge someone harshly because he or she is gay.

While I think it's appropriate and necessary to judge someone for bullying, for example. And I'm using my second definition of "judge" in both of those situations -- speaking up about it, not merely thinking it.
JPhil
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2011 12:35 pm
@Setanta,
Yes of course, it's not possible to not judge. Besides we must judge to know whether something is good or bad or if we like something or not.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2011 12:56 pm
How about not judging in the sense of being able to fit somebody else´s shoes ? That is, aside our own natural judgement, I agree with that bit, can or can we not have a more relativistic approach on those subjects which are important to us ?
Is n´t empathy about that ?

...the challenge is not about not having an opinion, which we obviously all do, but aside having one the challenge consists in still being able to comprehend an opposite point of view...
JPhil
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2011 12:57 pm
@sozobe,
Oh! I understand. But I can judge harshly in my mind. And I agree, it would be inappropriate to do so in front of them. But it's only inappropriate if they find it inappropriate. If you and I have a debate and either me or you say something that's offensive. It doesn't have to seem rude to me if it does to you or vice verse. It can go the same with bullying, it's inappropriate to those who feel it is. For example, bullying is inappropriate to the receiver rather than the doer. So it depends.
0 Replies
 
JPhil
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2011 10:11 pm
@Fil Albuquerque,
Yeah. I think our opinions may include many views and from these we base our judgments. I agree it is possible and healthy to consider the opposing view of what is important to us. But keeping someone from sharing their opinion isn't fair and hypocritical if the other person is willing to share theirs.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2011 10:58 pm
@JPhil,
Well it seems that Setanta beat me to it. It is nonsense to say 'don't judge me' - everyone judges everything. I also don't think that judgement should never be verbalised - there are many and good reasons for stating your feelings on something, being angry, being upset etc (just as there are many poor reasons for being the same way).

The thing is - don't judge without care...no one likes that.
0 Replies
 
JLNobody
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2011 11:01 pm
@Setanta,
Setanta, yes, we are by nature judging beings. Our every moment is one in which we make discriminations, some strong enough to be called hard--even harsh--"judgements", some weak enough to be called mere "preferences."
I like the ideal, however, of trying to experience actions, events, places, etc. without judgement, "prereflectively", if only to experience them more openingly, more directly, without the filter of categories, standards, criteria, etc. kind of an innocent phenomenalism. But if I am to respond to things, I guess you're right: the response very likely reflects some kind of discrimination, a picking and choosing of things. Hard to exist otherwise, except perhaps for rare and fleeting moments.
0 Replies
 
Cyracuz
 
  2  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2011 03:25 am
Isn't there a difference in offering one's opinion and being judgmental?
I think there is an emotional aspect of being judgmental, and it is not the same as making a judgment. We make judgments for ourselves. We are judgmental towards others.
I can offer my opinions to someone I don't agree with, but I am not really being judgmental until I lace it with condescending attitudes that reflect my opinion of that person based on my opinion of the issue we are focusing on.

For example, it is possible to tell a racist that you think racism is horrible, which is the judgment I've made for myself, without insinuating that I think that he is a horrible person for having those beliefs, which is being judgmental.
JPhil
 
  2  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2011 06:27 am
@Cyracuz,
Ahh! I didn't consider that view. But being judgmental is still an opinion though, I'm just criticizing the person when I am judgmental. Furthermore it's about how the person receiving the words feels. Whether it's inappropriate depends on them, even if it is judgmental. Some people you can judge and they may not respond as you or I may.
0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  2  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2011 06:30 am
judge away, but if you're going to throw stones, pebbles only please
0 Replies
 
Cyracuz
 
  2  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2011 07:57 am
It is tradition or custom to wear black at funerals.
If someone came to a funeral wearing white someone could say: "I think it is very inappropriate to wear white at funerals". You are offering an opinion, but not judging the person who wears white.
If you were judgmental you would perhaps say: "You wear white to a funeral? You must be a very inconsiderate person"
That's what I thought it means to be judgmental. Not just the opinion about something, but the forming of an opinion about other people for having different views than yourself.
Having judgment and being judgmental are two different things, as I see it.
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2011 08:43 am
@Cyracuz,
Of course, they could just be Korean . . . white is the color of mourning in the far east.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2011 09:03 am
@Cyracuz,
Agreed...
0 Replies
 
JLNobody
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2011 09:03 am
@Setanta,
Yes, and that very well illustrates the relativity of meaning.

BTW, is there the suggestion here that it is not "judgementalism" to evaluate an action so long as you are not evaluating the actor (or at least before you've tried to understand the action from the actor's point of view)?
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2011 09:36 am
@JLNobody,
...if there is I don´t agree with it...on that regard I am a relativist...(which I am certain will come as a shock to you given my well known belief on truth)
0 Replies
 
 

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