Public Speaking

I'd rather not comment on this here in front of Dog and ever'body . . .

Yes, speaking in front of others IS the main fear of people - death being just a close second.

Why? I don't know.
I just know I don't like it.

Let me know when you find out.

I have lost that fear over time but giving a speech in high school was my idea of a week of hell in anticipation of having to do so. For me, it had to do with standing up in front of the class. I was fine with raising my hand to give an answer to a teacher's question, and I was fine with going to the blackboard and doing math. But facing the class and speaking was treacherous to me. The day I had to speak in my senior year, I just got going on the speech and suddenly the fire bell rang - and we all filed out of the room in the fire drill. After we got back, I finished the stupid speech.

I lost my fear when I was in landscape architecture school. We had to stand up in front of the class, show our designs or plans, and then take criticism from the class and the teacher. I survived the first few times and then actually enjoyed the process. I think that had to do with my then fairly advanced age (40) and improved self confidence from the days when I was a teenager. I've since spoken at a lot of city meetings and not been fearful.

There was one time when I regressed - in order to pass our state board tests, we had to be examined by a set of architects regarding matters of public welfare relative to our design work - this would be after we had three days of written testing. I remember sitting in the room where we all waited, and that I turned cold, my hands ice cold, probably my knees shaking. Turned out fine, and I knew I passed as I left the room just by the look on the examiners faces.

Anyway, I think this kind of fear is fairly common, and that it is centered on self awareness, as much shyness is.

I've wondered about this.

I have no problem standing up in front of any number of people, and talking.
At the same time, I'm an introvert, and don't ever seek out groups of people.

I think somehow this is related. Being IN a group of people is completely exhausting to me. I get resently because afterwards I have no energy. The thought of going to a party and interacting makes my palms sweat and my head buzz.

Speaking TO a group of people (and taking Q&A) is nothing. I don't even think about the people out there. Might as well be a room full of beach balls.

Fear of them judging? **** 'em. If they don't like what I'm saying, they can come up and do it, and I'll go sit in their chair and relax.

I went to what was supposed to be a "discussion" group today.

The facilitator of the group instead, made a lengthly "presentation".

He was shaking so much - over prepared with too much material - that there was hardly any real discussion. He was miserable. I wondered why he did that.

Someone suggested that at the next group meeting, there just be someone to keep the discussion moving instead of feeling like they had to make a presentation.

There is a "Toastmasters Club" in this area. They are supposed to help you with public speaking techniques.

I don't do well at dinner parties where we all sit around and talk for, say, four hours. Heebeejeebees commence. I could do that in my twenties, but now, I don't like staying on the phone a long time, and I lose interest in intense discussion in person. Some is fine, but lengthy, my interest fades.

I've heard a lot of people like toastmasters as a group. I never tried it, so I can't recommend it or not.

My family are always into entertaining one thing or another.

Yeah, scary stuff, I wonder how the teachers and lecturers cope with the adrenalin, rush?