] JGoldman10 Mystery Theatre
[Spooky organ music rises.]
ANNOUNCER [in sepulchral voice]: Do you dare to attend opening night at [music swells; heavy echo on voice] JGoldman10 Mystery Theatre?
[Music trails off to accompaniment of eerie laughter, creaking door, squeaky adolescent male voice babbling inane questions, e.g., ”If Wolverine has wolverine powers, does he spray to mark his territory? Are there any superheroes named after body parts?” etc.]
ANNOUNCER: “They seek him heah, they seek him theah! Those fanboys seek him everywheah! He makes them wonder — ‘Who, how, when?’ — That demmed, infernal JGoldman10!”
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Tune in next time, when we delve deeper into dark secrets ... heh heh. Bwah hah. BWAH HAH HAAAH HEH HAAAAH HEH HAH ....
[Laughter fades into background, squeaky male adolescent voice rises, babbling as before, e.g., ”Is asking stupid questions a mutant ability? If metahumans have mutant abilities, are they still metahumans?” etc. Music continues to rise, mercifully drowning out the questions, then fades out.]