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HELP! IM A NANNY. CHILD SAYS I HIT HIM.

 
 
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 10:35 am
I've been in childcare for almost fifteen years. This recent job was the most difficult by far. There are twin 4 yr old boys who lost their father a few years ago and have MAJOR behavioral issues. They have already been expelled from two daycares and three babysitters quit. One left crying everyday and only lasted a week. The boys hit, spit, scratch, swear like pros, and don't listen to a word they are told. One of them broke their older sisters arm out of anger. I wish I could say I am exhaugerating but I am not. They have a counselor come to the house twice a week to work with them. Yesterday, I put one of the boys in time out for attacking his brother. Time out consists of being in their bedroom in bed while they calm down. During this time out, The boy yanked out all of his dresser drawers and threw the clothes around the room. When I checked on him from the noise, I noticed he had a bruise that resembled a line so I figured it was the drawer and left it at that. I told the mom when she got home about the bruise and that was that. She knows how they are. This morning after i wake up to go back there, she calls and says that the boy told her I smacked him. He even did role playing and showed her what i supposedly did. I am freaking out. I have worked for them for three months and I can't believe I didn't worry about this happening before! The mom said she is going to have the therapist come and try to see if she can get the story. She says she doesnt believe either me or the boy completely. Either way, I am out of a job. I'm freaking out. Any advice or anyone gone through something similar?

 
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 10:52 am
@Nanny34589,
why would you want to go back to work there...?
Nanny34589
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 11:02 am
@Rockhead,
Believe me I don't now. I was just trying to help out the mother and stick with it. I have a lot of patience and can deal with a lot of issues. Now Im scared that I'm in trouble with this along with being broke and scared about how to pay my bills.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 11:03 am
@Nanny34589,
hold your ground, and repeat your story to anyone that wants to know.

those kids are not going to magically get better...

good luck.
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 11:05 am
@Nanny34589,
Are you in the US? If so, was she withholding taxes from your wages? Are you able to claim unemployment benefits?

First, look to your own financial needs as best you can. Then, you should probably get some legal advice. Document EVERYTHING you can think of. Do you have the names and/or contact info for the previous nannies? You may want to see if any of them have had similar experiences.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  0  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 12:04 pm
Call the therapist and tell her what happend,

Then Quit!!

This job is putting you into personal liability.

These kids are dangerous. It will only get worse. The accusations will get more creative and bizzare. Get out before they accuse you of sexual assault.

(What, no Nanny Cam?)



OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 01:02 pm

I don 't believe that a person who is persistently and chronicly violent
has a viable claim concerning a minor bruise.

Does he have a sterling reputation for being truthful ??





David
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 02:36 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
OmSigDAVID wrote:
Does he have a sterling reputation for being truthful ??


This is a disturbed 4 year old.

0 Replies
 
Fido
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 04:34 pm
@Nanny34589,
I like kids when they are little and just trying to figure things out... I really like to make contact with them, eye to eye, and smile; and it is wonderful how many happy children there are who meet life with a grin... Nothing more... I'm not looking for a long term relationship... I just like saying you're real, I'm real, and we're both real... But I don't have anything to do with older kids because they are low down lying pieces of ****... They do what they want to get what they want, and they learn who they can push around and who will put up a fight, and if you are willing to put up a fight they will lie, cheat or steal to see you gone...

I helped some little black kids in a group at the Y pool a few weeks back... The parents were right there, the life guard could not help and the parents were not dressed for it... The kids were scared, and I could see it, so I made contact, and it took some coaxing, but when one figured out I wasn't going to drown him I had them all asking for help, and rides and a hand to swim to... But I would not have done it without the parents there... One person getting burned by some rotten kid is enough to cure a lot of parents of even saying hello to the little snots... Those kids didn't trust me... I don't trust them, and in that we are even...
0 Replies
 
Fido
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 04:36 pm
@Nanny34589,
I foresee a nannycam in your future... Wear a mirror...
0 Replies
 
High Seas
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 04:54 pm
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:

Call the therapist and tell her what happend,
....................
This job is putting you into personal liability.

NO don't call the therapist - the absolutely last thing you need is to get sucked deeper into a "he said, she said" tale.

Do you know any lawyers? Paralegals? If not, just call a friend of yours, ask him or her to listen to your version of events, or better yet, write it out clearly just as you wrote it for us; then get the friend to read it. Contemporaneous conversations, written records (even if they're only your own notes, as long as someone else reliable has seen them) do matter. And stop the panic, that will sink you faster than anything anyone else can do. Come back and post how it's going - but squeeze out the fear first, fear never paid anybody's bills. Go for a walk, inhale, exhale, then get back home and write. Do it now; good luck.
0 Replies
 
High Seas
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 04:57 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Hadn't seen your post, David - of course you would have the more reliable legal opinion on the best course of action to follow. Hope you'll advise.
OmSigDAVID
 
  4  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2010 07:14 pm
@High Seas,

A person of such turbulence as has been reported
shoud be expected to have many bruises, very ofen.

1. I don 't see a viable cause of action.

2. The author has not indicated that litigation was threatened.

No lawyer in his right mind woud be interested in this case.





David
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Nov, 2010 08:56 am
The therapist would not be allowed to talk to her about the patient. She/he could only listen.

I would start the conversation: "I know you can't discuss the family and the kids, but I want to let you know what happened last week . . . "

High Seas
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Nov, 2010 12:51 pm
@PUNKEY,
So therefore the original poster, facing no liability - which you brought up - or even accusation, should volunteer to manufacture one? Brilliant.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  0  
Reply Mon 29 Nov, 2010 02:44 pm
The mother is a loose canon. I'm sure the therapist is going to be brought in on this. The OP needs to just tell the facts, as she knows them, to someone. The therapist is the most neutral person in all this. And is probably the most powerful person in terms of this not letting this escalate into something it's not.

By "personal liability" I meant her reputation and work referral system.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Mon 29 Nov, 2010 03:39 pm
@Nanny34589,
So far as we have been informed,
this appears to be a case with no damages,
other than a minor bruise in the shape of a straight line.

This is nothing, and the boy probably forgot it by now.

With no litigation having been threatened, I 'm at a loss to discern any issue.





David
0 Replies
 
 

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