@chai2,
Back in my day, we did wear white gloves, and all the accoutrements, never sassed a superior (any adult), and the word sassed really meant never talked back
at all except with a yes, ma'am, or yes, sir. I'm just a few years older than many a2kers, but those were a long time in culture years.
I agree that going to the other end of the spectrum of language and courtesy is no solution, but much of that over some years was reactive to the stultification of the years before.
Learning how to speak up well and wisely is a life long effort for many of us. There is also the issue of control re those who always speak well, as they tend to not self expose and that can grind if you are around them many hours and days and years.
I guess I like the middle road. Would that I would drive on it.
