Children's Science Exam Answers

Children's Science Exam Answers
These are real answers given by children. (Only children could come up
with this, and keep a straight face!)

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Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

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Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

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Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

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Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

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Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

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Q: What are steroids ?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

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Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

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Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.


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Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

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Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

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Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax
and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
five
bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

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Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

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Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

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Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

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And my personal favorite:
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.