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Wed 27 Nov, 2002 03:08 pm
Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray'-ter\ : A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl' \ : What a bullfighter tries to do
Baloney \buh-lo'-nee' \ : Where some hemlines fall
Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize' \ : What a crook sees with
Control \kon'-trol\ : A short, ugly inmate
Counterfeiters \kown'-ter-fit'-ers\ : Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
Eclipse \ee-klips' \ : What a Cockney barber does for a living
Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\ : A clumsy ophthalmologist
Heroes \hee-rhos' \ : What a guy in a boat does
Misty \mis-tee' \ : How golfers create divots
Paradox \par'-u-doks' \ : Two physicians
Parasites \par'-ih-sites' \: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist \ : A helper on the farm
Polarize \po'-lur-ize' \ : What penguins see with
Primate \pri'-mate' \ : Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Relief \ree-leef' \ : What trees do in the spring
Selfish \sel'-fish' \ : What the owner of a seafood store does
Subdued \sub-dood' \ : Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man
Words That Don't Exist, But Should:
AQUADEXTROUS - adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.
FRUST - n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps a person backing across the room until they finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.
PEPPIER - n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PUPKUS - n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION - n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
more?
When Dorothy Parkey was asked to compose a sentence with 'horticulture' in it, she said:
"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think"
Zebra - a Horse in bed.
Wonky - a Drunken Donkey
Here are some proper nouns and acronymn examples in reverse alphabetical order:
Zulu = a toilet for animals
Yukon = What a client thinks of their Lawyer
Xmas = a former wife
WYSIWYG = When You Snore It Wakes Your Girlfriend
VD = Very Dangerous!
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