Hate Health Care? Take the Matters In Your Own Hands!

Although the arguments against health care reform as recently passed by the US Congress are multi-dimensional, the right is primarily concerned that benefitting more Americans then are currently served by the traditional insurance system is socialism. A secondary concern is that making more people healthy and productive will "bankrupt" OUR children and grandchildren . . . not everyone's off-spring, just theirs.

So, perhaps, what those who are against this system should do is take matters into their own hands. Health care reform opponents can help by eliminating those that obviously need assistance the most.

They can begin with senior citizens. Of course, those who are hail enough to play shuffleboard and occasionally mind their grandkids are fine. It is those pesky seniors in hospices and assisted living centers that need to go.

Subtlety is unnecessary. Walk right in. Bring guns, whether .38s, magnums or scoped rifles. After all, those misguided nurses will probably defend and protect that barely alive baggage, sponging off taxpayers.

Have fun while you serve society. That old codger, dozing in the corner with an oxygen tank? Pull it out of his nose. When he wakes up and starts gasping, wing the orderly coming to his rescue, then put a bullet through the tank, then run.

Try another hospice, but, do something original there. Come in wearing a white coat and a rep striped tie. Read charts. Have something lethal to add to the IV drips and then leave quietly. It will take a while for the staff to figure it out if you wear exam gloves.

When you've saved society the expense of elder care, you can take care of the youngest needy. Turning off the power to the incubators at any large hospital specializing in the care of premature neonates will do society good in the long run. After all, those kids will never "catch up," so they will cost every town across American thousands of dollars in special education. Of course, the pharmaceutical firms will lose money on the drugs that normally would be used throughout the lifetimes of some of those children, but, the guys that run those places are a clever lot. They'll invent new acronyms for some minor irritation that is normally left untreated along with an advertising campaign that advises the duped to ask their physicians about the little chartreuse pill.

Then there are the sick . . . cancer patients, kidney disease sufferers on dialysis, heart attack victims . . . what good are they? Infiltrate pharmacies and mix up their prescriptions.

But, why bother? Simply shooting them is enough . . . along with that weird guy with Tourette's Syndrome who hangs out at Dunkin' Donuts . . . or the woman whose nose is a mass of swollen red, heavily veined tissue . . . or the 40 year-old on crutches because his club feet weren't corrected . . . or the bagger at the grocery store who wears a crash helmet because he suffers from an occasional seizure. . . why . . . tax dollars have probably cared for them for years . . . dollars that could better be spent attacking Iran or buying mandatory handgun for all fifth graders.

What happens if you're arrested? Should you plead insanity? Why no! It should be obvious that you are a moral, upstanding American! Say you are doing it for your country! Get your friends to picket the court house in Revolutionary War dress.

You will surely be set free and given a medal by the Congress that will be seated in 2012! That'll show those filthy socialists.

WITH PROFOUND THANKS TO A MODEST PROPOSAL.