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Is pride good or bad?

 
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 01:12 pm
I don't think he thinks about it these terms at all. For kids it seems to be whether someone is a show off.

Like this kid in his class who is really, amazingly good at math. All the kids were dazzled by his ability. Then the kid started showing off and thinking he was hot stuff. Now a lot of the kids avoid math kid.

I knew at least a dozen kids that happend to when I was in school, we all probably did. Their pride got the better of them.

There is a very fine line between good and bad pride. I'm trying to find it.
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 01:15 pm
I don't worry about petty matters such a this . . . i'm proud to say.
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 02:48 pm
When any good quality gets EXAGGERATED, then it becomes a problem.

Being proud is good, until it grows into self gratuitiousness (is that a word??)
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 04:09 pm
@boomerang,
boomerang wrote:
I don't think he thinks about it these terms at all.
For kids it seems to be whether someone is a show off.
Personally, I don 't believe that I 've ever seen that happen,
tho I guess u must be right if u saw it happen a dozen times.
Maybe Mo is about to put it to the test.
I guess we 'll see.


boomerang wrote:
Like this kid in his class who is really, amazingly good at math.
All the kids were dazzled by his ability.
Then the kid started showing off and thinking he was hot stuff.
Now a lot of the kids avoid math kid.
I knew at least a dozen kids that happend to when I was in school, we all probably did.
Their pride got the better of them.
Does Mo know about that?
Did he comment on that?
If he just silently lets them express their admiration,
maybe that will not happen. In any case: he will learn from it.


boomerang wrote:
There is a very fine line between good and bad pride.
I'm trying to find it.
In my opinion, its probably a question of arrogance, or its absence, but I 'm not sure.
I hope u 'll let us know how it works out.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 06:06 pm
Right now...before he wears them to school...might be a really good time to remind Mo about Math Kid and how everyone reacts to people who show off.

Props to you for allowing him to spend his money on this. Whatever happens, it will be a great lesson for Mo.
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 07:32 pm
@boomerang,
Oh my. This is super-close to a topic I've been pondering -- the title of the nascent thread I was thinking of starting was "Every Advantage." The kernel is the idea of having enough money to provide something for my kid but not wanting to for... still-being-examined reasons.

I guess, to modify what I already said about humiliation, people can think whatever they want as long as they handle it in a socially graceful way. That includes thinking about how your expression of pride will be taken.

Aside -- I was just talking to friends about how the boys in this town are crazy for shoes lately. I wish I could remember specifics, maybe it's national. Something about hightops. But the kids with the "right" shoes are teasing kids with the "wrong" shoes, which is really really unusual around here. (The girls don't even get into wardrobe-based teasing, yet anyway.)
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 07:45 pm
@sozobe,
I lived through the white bucks period in the mid/late fifties in high school. I had the wrong ones, from Leed's shoe store. Besides, then there were the socks, angora tops or not.

This is an endless line that I'm now very sardonic about, even though I like design as an endeavor.
Foofie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 07:54 pm
If one had a broken "widget" would one not want the local widget fixing person to take pride in his or her widget fixing?

I believe that many humble people do not feel pride, but feel competency instead.

However, based on the popular culture we are socialized in, many children do want their parents to "feel proud of them." To keep a child's self-esteem positive, I believe we do need to tell a child we are proud of his/her abilities. It might even be positive to say we are just proud to have him/her as our child. Similar to "unconditional love" to a child, children might also require "unconditional pride" from a parent?

boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 08:06 pm
@Eva,
He wore them to school today.

The first thing he told me when he walked in the door is "I didn't brag about my shoes." I told him I was proud of him for that.

By the way -- I made him finish up his birthday thank you cards before I would allow him to wear the shoes. That's the fastest we've ever got the thank yous done.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 08:09 pm
@sozobe,
I'd like to see that thread, soz. It would be interesting to hear how others handle it.

Mo is shoe (especially cleats) crazy! It's downright freaky. If I ever hear of him teasing anyone about shoes he'll be in some serious, big time trouble. Having grown up as a "have-not" I'm sensitive to that crap.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 08:11 pm
@ossobuco,
Didn't you go to Catholic school, osso?

I remember all my friends that went to Catholic school -- because they had to wear uniforms their only area of competition was shoes. It was vicious.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 08:13 pm
@Foofie,
That's interesting, Foofie -- the competency thing.

I think I know what you're saying but I'm going to have to think about it a bit as I'm not sure they're the same thing.

I think a craftsman takes pride in their work.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2010 08:48 pm
@boomerang,
boomerang wrote:
That's interesting, Foofie -- the competency thing.

I think I know what you're saying but I'm going to have to think about
it a bit as I'm not sure they're the same thing.

I think a craftsman takes pride in their work.
Some of them do.
U know, Boomer: u shoud never miss an opportunity to praise Mo
and to express your approval of him. His subconscious mind is listening
and it will believe u and, timelessly, it will never forget.

For good or for ill, it will remember your characterizations of him
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jan, 2010 07:38 am
Random thought last night:

It is definitely possible to be over-proud -- boastful, obnoxious, etc. But I find myself getting annoyed at people who too pointedly downplay their accomplishments too. I think it's possible to be UNDER-proud, in expression anyway.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jan, 2010 03:44 pm
@sozobe,
Down with the tyranny of the meek!
0 Replies
 
GoshisDead
 
  1  
Reply Fri 11 Jun, 2010 05:53 pm
To disambiguate good from bad pride one, I think, must disambiguate humlity from self abasement.
Humility is the state of being teachable. It is the ability to learn without prejudice. While self abasement is a cover for either pride itself, or a prideful attmpt to attain a false humilty.

Thus any attitude one holds that hinders his/her ability to learn is prideful, including acts of contrition and humility.

Of course this is predicated upon the ideal of progression, all pride, and humility are based on the leadl of progression. If one believes that there is no such thing as personal progression, or they assume there is no goal to which they can progress, they prolly don't see pride and humilty as more than catch terms for cocky and poor.
GoshisDead
 
  1  
Reply Fri 11 Jun, 2010 06:02 pm
@GoshisDead,
Dyslexia gets the best of me sometimes leadl should have read IDEAL
0 Replies
 
 

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