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Thu 3 Dec, 2009 10:34 pm
And I didn't even get to see her go. I may not make it through this time of dark despair. The girl who used to walk around naked in her apartment, of which I had a perfect view out my back window, is gone. The mysterious fantasy babe who I once went on to the roof with a pair of binoculars to get a better view of while she stretched out naked in front of her mirror has moved out!
Suddenly the rent doesn't seem justified for this shitbox I live in anymore! Food tastes blander, the sky seems darker...even Seinfeld re-runs fail to amuse me! I go away for a few days for Thanksgiving and when I come back my hot sexy neighbor babe has been replaced by an average-looking middle-aged couple!
Interestingly, everything that used to be there is gone except for the sheers. The sheers, the damn sheers that I wished for her not to put up, they are still there. Mocking me. The sheers that she put up to hide the sharper details of her toned body, but that fortunately still allowed me to see her silky silhouette as she frolicked naked night after night"okay, maybe she only did that once or twice, but damn it, I wanted it to be night after night!"The sheers are still up. Ain't that a bitch.
I am so distraught. What will I do?
Any suggestions? Should I:
A) Watch more internet porn?
B) Neuter myself?
C) Learn how to blow myself?
D) Shave my head with a cheese grater?
E) All of the above
@kickycan,
Internet porn is always a good option if your net savvy and know to practice safe browsing.
@kickycan,
Quote:I am so distraught. What will I do?
Your life can only improve from this point if you tell me where she moved to...
@kickycan,
if you were really distraught, you could neuter yourself with the cheese grater...
@kickycan,
If you were all that distraught you wouldn'a been able to type this and post it. You're just looking for sympathy. And you know where to find that, right? That's right. It's in the dictionary, between sh*t and syphilis.
@Merry Andrew,
That was rather harsh, Andrew.
Self-flagellation, fasting for 30 days, public service at a nursing home and send me all your available cash.
It will cleanse your soul and help me through the Christmas season.
@snood,
Maybe she just went away for a small vacation and these are her parents visiting New Yawk. Her folks live in Arkansas and she let them have her apartment for a few weeks. Shell be back.You gotta believe.
I mean youve spent all that time lining the trunk of your car with plastic . You have big plans for her dont you?
Clearly you weren't keeping a close-enough eye on her. I mean you don't know her new address, which is pretty bad. But worse, you apparently don't even have her phone number. It never once occurred to you to climb the drainpipe and slip through the window when she went to her Wednesday night pilates class? And then look for a phone bill left on the kitchen table or ironing board? And then send her illicit anonymous texts?
<snort>
Amatuer.
@Gargamel,
sh was a pilate? What kind of plain?
@farmerman,
When Francis sees you beat him to that one, he's gonna be pissed.
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