King of the hill

With supernatural healthcare powers granted to me by Obama, the new Messiah, I instantly rebuild and resurrect myself, I redistribute the entire hill among the poor and unemployed who stand at the bottom with their hands out.

Game over bitches.

With hat in hand, I stand in the bread line where the hill used to be ... but I'm just waiting for my opportunity, .... then the Revolution comes, and all the bourgeois pigs are strung up by their bloated thumbs ... and I am the bloody sword of vengeance, enforcing the will of the proletariat!

But like every plan of Obama's, it was just an imaginary dream, and when I woke up, there I was standing at the top of the hill again, sword drawn, looking for someone to slay.

Just as Tico wakes from his dream, he realized that his nuts hurt and he saw me standing on top of the hill with an M1 Abraham's tank.

As he saw this:



His last thought was "oh, this is gonna hurt."

No problem. My friend Dick here has blown away all your poor and unemployed Americans and will scare you off just by his mere appearance...As he chases after the last little crippled child I take my place on the hill.

Gee, it took me too long to decide which excellent Cheney picture I should be pick and now I have to find a new method. Damn!

After drawing all of you into my trap... I blow myself to bits along with you and enter Mecca where 72 virgins await

Well, now that bi-polar bear has gone and blown himself up, I get a large broom and sweep the pieces of his carcass off my hill.

I, again, stand as king of the hill.

(... wouldn't a mop have been better?)

Using a technique I perfected on one of my many movies, I heave my sword at McG ... however, my aim is a bit too low, but I manage to cleave off his left foot. McG tumbles to the ground and then hops down the hill, desperately trying to catch up to his foot as it snowballs to the base of the hill. I saunter to the top and take my rightful place at the summit ...

As I sat at the bottom of the hill, Oscar Goldman and Dr, Rudy Wells approached me. I was told that they could make my foot better, stronger, they could rebuild it.

After their quick work, I marched up the hill and kicked Ticomaya in the ass with my new bionic foot. As he turned to swing his sword at me, he realized that it was merely a distraction as the 16 ton anvil fell on his head smooshing him into the ground and mixing his entrails with the ramains of bi-polar bears forming a recombinant soup of liberal and conservative dogma.

I stand on top of the anvil, on top of the hill. Victorious.

A sword? A sword!? Not in this century. I'll see your sword and raise you a portable anti-tank missile launcher to blow your sagging beafsteak body back to Nutland California. Time for a sunrise breakfast on the hill...

OK McG, since we keep posting at the same time we might have to join forces here.

hehe, I was just trying to keep the thread going. No one had posted in almost 24 hours so I figured I should to at least keep it on the first page of new posts...

I found us some hordes to help hold this hill - we're taking on all challengers:



(It took like forever to find a picture of a male and female warrior in battle. Every image had either the female alone or subdued by the male, some things never change)

A quick call to nearby Roswell to arrange a routine abduction of Green Witch and all her hordes, and taking the hill is simple.

Using the power of the internet, I hire a crack team of pimply faced youths to hack into Foxfyre's records and steal her identity. Using that, I take her place on the hill as she no longer exists.

Since McG no longer exists, having taken Foxy's identity...I saunter up to the top and languidly scratch my arse.

I invent a new weapon that shoots exploding maple baseball bats in a wide arc, and with it blazing at full-bore, advance on the hill.



Panzade dances around the shrapnel for a few minutes, but in the end he flees for his little girlie-life.

Some collateral damage occurs, as a few pieces head toward the spectators.



Now I stand alone at the top ... happy and content ... shards of maple flying in all directions around me.