Primer/Primer

My last primer was Pudd'n'head Wilson, by Mark Twain.

Wow, edgar. That's one I haven't read by Twain, and I do love him. Sorry that I didn't recognize it.

I amended it.

Gone With the Wind

This is Scarlett.
This is Rhett.
This is Ashley.
This is Melanie.
See Melanie and Ashley marry.
See Scarlett get upset and marry out of spite.
See the Civil War start.
See Atlanta burn.
Burn, baby, burn.
See Rhett save Scarlett and Melanie.
See Scarlett shoot a Yankee soldier.
See Rhett meet Scarlett again.
See Scarlett wear a dress made from a curtain.
See Scarlett flirt.
Flirt, Scarlett, flirt.
See Rhett and Scarlett marry.
See Rhett and Scarlett have a baby.
See Bonnie die.
Poor Bonnie.
See Rhett and Scarlett fight.
Fight, Rhett and Scarlett, fight.
See Rhett leave.
Rhett doesn't give a ----.
Can you ask your mother or father if you can fill in the missing word?

Heh, heh, Jes. Love it! I do suspect that today's kindergarten set could surprise us with what they would put in that blank.

True enough - it's not your father's kindergarten, such as that was. :-D

The Old Man And The Sea
THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA

See the Old Man trudging to the beach each day.

See the Young Boy helping the Old Man carry the fishing pole.

See their skin darkening in the hot sun above the sea each day.

See the Old Man's hope to catch the Big Fish.

See the Young Boy feeding the tired Old Man after a disappointing day.

See the Old Man going back into the sea, never giving up.

See the Big Fish leaping from the waves.

See the Old Man's hook pierce Big Fish.

See Big Fish furiously fighting the hook in his mouth.

See the Old Man's bloody hands fighting to hold on to Big Fish.

See Big Fish lashed dead on the Old Man's Boat.

See the Sharks tear apart Brave Fish on its way home.

See the Sharks never give up.

See the Old Man fight the Sharks, never giving up.

See the Old Man bring home Brave Fish's skeleton.

See the Old Man weep for the dead Brave Fish who never gave up.

See the Young Boy help the Old Man home to bed.

See the Old Man and the Young Boy never give up.

Old Men and Brave Fish never give up to inspire Young Boys!

See Old Men, Brave Fish and Young Boy inspire Ernest Hemmingway.

CATCH 22 by Joseph Heller

This is Yossarian.
They are trying to kill him.
But, it's a war; they are trying to kill everybody.
So what?
Yossarian does not want to die.
Yossarian's friend crashes planes.
He does this on purpose.
Planes cost a lot of money.
The friend does not care; he does it anyway.
Yossarian hopes they will think he, Yossarian, is crazy and send him home.
But if he says he is crazy that means he is not crazy and he still can't go home.
That is called a catch-22.
Yossarian's friend crashes his plane in the water. He escapes and sends Yossarian a letter from a safe place.
Yossarian says, "I can do that too."
He takes an inflatable raft and floats away on it.
Good-by, my friend. Good luck to you.

What ?

heliotrope, I was referring to the vocabulary used in your "primer". I was supposing the words might be too difficult for a child in kindergarten. The last part of the reference was to children who are brilliant, and the OED, of course, is the Oxford English Dictionary.

Hey, BBB. You stole Andrew's primer and edited it, but it was cleverly done. Incidentally, that's the only book that I ever liked by Hemingway.

Wow, edgar. Great! I'm afraid that I never read Catch 22, but I loved the song from it. M*A*S*H was based on it as I remember.

Letty, great idea. I haven't thought up one myself (yet) but wondered if you were inspired by the small history that Jane Austen wrote for her sister?

Here's a link:
The History of England... N.B. There will be very few Dates in this History

hey, Piffka. No, I wasn't inspired by Jane, nor Dick either, but I loved the link and saved it to favorites. Actually, I think the original came from Time magazine, but I'm not certain.

Old Man and The Sea
Old Man and The Sea

Actually, Andrew beat me to the post but I wanted to do my own version anyway.

BBB

no prob, BBB.

I hope more get posted, they're fun.

Truth is, M*A*S*H* and Catch-22 are not related at all. I believe the MASH author was named something like Hooker. One pertains to the Korean CONFLICT, the other to WW II.

I thought these primer things were basically a simple summary, preferably humerous or satirical, of a film you've seen.
What do they have to do with children ?
I didn't realise they were supposed to be for kids.
Why are they ? It didn't say that in the instructions.

:shrug:

Helio -- A primer is a simplified book. In the states it is commonly an early education book for the Primary Grades.

The Life of Pi -- A Primer

A boy lives in a zoo in India.
----------(Find India on map.)

Boy is named for swimming pool in France.
----------(Find France on map.)

Zoo closes. Where should animals go?
Animals are shipped to Canada.
----------(Find Canada on map.)

Ship sinks. Boy and tiger escape in lifeboat. Uh-oh!!
Lifeboat lands in Mexico.
----------(Find Mexico on map.)

Japanese ship-owners want to know....
"Where is tiger?"
----------(Find Japan on map.)


Extra Credit: Find Pacific Ocean on map.

My apologies, Heliotrope. I guess I assumed too much, but piffka has explained the purpose of a primer quite well.

Here's another example:

Here is a flower.
The flower is blue.
The flower is called a heliotrope.
Can you say heliotrope?
Mother and father love their garden.
What kind of flowers are in their garden?

Ahhhhh !
Sudden flash of light and all is illuminated.

It just seemed amazingly simplistic to me and not normally the sort of stuff you'd give to kids. Maybe I just know the weird kids

Thanks Piffka and thanks Letty, I shall be using that wee primer on a small one that I'll be meeting this afternoon at rehearsals.
A couple of friends (bass player and singer) have a wee daughter that loves playing on my drums, she comes to rehearsals and doesn't even mind the earplugs !
Only 21 months too.