Cultural differences question!!!

I can't really think of any positive aspect I would find in an arranged marriage for myself. I think I would approach such an event with unmitigated dread - in fact I think I'd flee before I'd be able to see myself going through with it, because I know myself well enough to know that I would not be able to abdicate my personal autonomy and decision-making ability- I just wouldn't.

And what if you weren't attracted physically or emotionally to the person chosen for you? I'd find such an arrangement unbearable for even one second.

Personally I can´t think of anything positive either about arranged marriages.

An Indian woman once said about arranged marriage:
"We don´t love one another in an arranged marriage when we marry, so we work at it so we get to love one another and hope it works out.
You western love one another when you marry and don´t really work at it so it does not work out"
You have to compare a culture with our western style. A culture where women are not allowed to see any man before marriage and hardly ever afterwards either. She has to live a life amongst women. As a single woman in a family she has nothing to say, she will be treated as a slave more or less - depending on her relatives.
A married woman living with her parents in law can be hell, If a married woman is the head of the family she has a lot to say to all other women in the household. This can of course bring out the worst side in a frusterated woman.
If you have decent parents they will choose a hopefully decent man for you - a man who can support you and give you a social status in your culture and hopefully a secured old age.
That is the only positive thing I can come up with - but that certainly has nothing to do with our western style of life.
But is that not also what many western women are looking for too on their own?

It's probably a good way when both the man and woman are shy or too busy with work, and are afraid to approach the opposite sex for dates and social events or don't have the time.

One positive aspect would be the matter of self blame. If it's arrainged, you can't blame yourself, and there is no reason to dwell on might have beens.

I don't personally think it's a positive thing, but I can see the appeal in certain cultures to do so.

In some cultures a woman's survival was largely dependent on her marriage to a stable man. Modern Western culture might have a hard time understanding this, as it is not the case for us and we'd fare about the same on average regardless of who's picking the mates but in other cultures it may be a more stark decision.

Many parents who don't believe in arraigned marriage can empathize with the desire to see their child find a partner who is good for them in the long term, and they sometimes disapprove of the object of their child's affections. In cultures with more poverty and misery and with more of a taboo against divorce arranged marriage seems to me to be merely taking this paternal instinct a bit further.

One positive I believe is that it eliminates the concept of marriage for romance. Marriage based on romance can be very disappointing for so many after the honeymoon. So, by eliminating the concept of marriage for romance, one can marry for the practical reasons that arranged marriages are often based on. Sort of like getting hired in a job for one's qualifications, not for the boss just liking you. In other words, marriage for romance can be analogous to the saying, "it is not what you know, but who you know," while arranged marriage reverses that saying to, "it is not who you know, but what you know."

On a lighter note, another positive with arranged marriages in a society is that it might eliminate all the maudlin romance songs that in the 1950's caused many a young couple to go to the alter before they tasted life.

How many of the people who have responded to this thread so far are parents?

(I think arranged marriages are a great idea.)

It is not just a question if we are parents ourselves but if we are a woman or a man.
For a woman she should think about whom her parents would have choosen for her.
For men an arranged marriage can at a certain level be easier. He can get himself another wife, he can divorce, he can choose his male friends to spend his free time with, he can go to a mistress.
A woman has to accept her husband sexually - even if he rapes her, she can never divorce and her circle of female friends is very limited - sometimes she is not even allowed to visit her own family after she is married.

my mother once commented that in an arranged marriage, usually your partner is arranged by your parents. Assuming in the best-case-scenario your parents are loving, care for you, and know you really well, won't it make sense that the partner they choose will get along with you and is compatible? Of course, you have exceptions, but that's one possible advantage of arranged marriages.