Have you made any funeral plans?

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Below is a story about a man who staged his own funeral because he didn't want to leave the task on his family's shoulders. While I believe in some planning, this fellow looks like he went a bit over-the-top, in my opinion.

Both my wife and I have laid out stuff like, cremation (over burial), how ashes are to be handled, no formal service, etc. We are members in a memorial society who provide a lower cost alternative to other funeral businesses, although we have not prepaid. We also have it noted in our wills.

How about you? Have you made any funeral plans?

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Man stages own funeral

A Romanian man staged his own funeral while he was still alive to make sure everything went to plan.

http://www.ananova.com/images/web/1485105.jpg

Marin Voinicu, 73, from Vadastra in Olt county, invited fellow villagers, relatives and friends to his home to mark his "future passing".

The village priest even accepted an invitation to officiate a funeral sermon at the man's home.

Mr Voinicu said: "I did everything by the book. I even dug my own grave in the cemetery and laid down in it to see how it feels.

"I asked my relatives to wail at my headstone for a test run. I was fully satisfied with my funeral."

He explained he decided to organise his own funeral because he didn't want to leave the task on his family's shoulders.

And his family agreed to go along with it because they felt it would be easier to organise the event when they were not distracted by grieving.

Mr Voinicu's daughter-in-law Oncica said: "If we had done this after his death it would have been harder."

"Everybody would have cried a lot but this way nobody shed a tear. We had such a good time one could have said it was more like a wedding than a funeral."

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@Reyn,

Nope, don't even have a will yet.

1 Reply

@Mame,

Well, I guess it depends on each person's situation, but I hate to think of the government having a hand in our affairs after we're gone.

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@Reyn,

Oh.... dear.... Embarrassed

yep. Got mine planned!

More because I get sick a lot and if the unforseen was to happen - well, it's all there in black and white. Got a will too because I have a disabled kiddo and another kiddo and it needed to be sorted out for them, just in case. Thing is, it's not a morbid thing at all... (the funeral wishes) really isn't. Just, I was brought up being très practical. No biggie at all.

Wouldn't go quite as far as that chap tho Shocked

eeeeeeuw.... digging yer grave and trying it out........... YUK! No thankee very much! Wicker basket and up in smoke with a bit of Bon Jovi to take with me.

(A very close friend died last year - totally unexpected - it was awful to arrange a funeral for him with his wife who was in shock - when we didn't know what his wishes would have been. Horrible. HORRIBLE.)

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I have always said that I wanted to be cremated but I understand there is a green burial cemetery a few hours away and that strikes me as a more environmentally friendly choice -- well, legally anyway, since I don't think my family would be allowed to dump me in with the compost or feed me to the bears. But I am starting to think about donating my body to a medical school for budding surgeons to practice on. Better they make their mistakes on me.

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I plan to be planted at the Veteran's Memorial Cemetary, about a thirty minute drive from here. Plus, my wife and I have life insurance on each other (I'm keeping an eye on her, I am).

My brother told his wife he is opting for cremation. That way, there will be no cemetary with a marker to keep her tethered to it after he is gone.

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I have a box of black Hefty trash bags under the sink, in the back right hand corner.

Wally knows where it is, and to leave 2 in there unused, since I want to be double bagged.

He also has the schedule for all the bulky trash pickup days.

I think I'm pretty well set.

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@Reyn,

What happens when he eventually does die? He's just put in the grave and that's that?

1 Reply

Izzie: Hey, good for you! A little bit of early planning can ease a lot of burdens later on. This is especially important in a situation such as yours, although to anyone who has children.

Tai: What changed your mind from cremation, to burial, to donation? Just curious. I imagine that one practical advantage will be the savings of funeral-related costs when one dies. Did this enter your mind at all?

Edgar: Have you always wanted to be buried? Have you ever given the cremation option a thought?

Some folks do have their ashes buried in a cemetery with a marker. I'm not quite sure why one would do that.

Chai: There's that tongue-in-cheek again! Laughing

You might want to re-think that option if your husband is spotted carrying those bags to the curb for pickup. It might get him in a spot of bother.

Seriously, have you got anything in writing?

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My father died in 1991, and his wishes were to be cremated. My mother has his ashes in an urn at her home for safe keeping. When she dies, she wants the same and for their ashes to be scattered together.

My wife and I have discussed this, and we would like to do the same. It's been laid out in our will, too. We will be relying on our older daughter to carry out our wishes.

3 Replies

@sozobe,

That's an excellent question, Soz.

It looks like the ceremony is done, so you may be right!

Anyone else have a take on this? Will the whole thing be repeated?

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Yep, my funeral instructions are part of an entire package deal what should
happen in case I die. My ashes are to be distributed into the ocean....

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@Reyn,

reyn :

a well-to-do artist (?) in toronto arranged for such a "pre-funeral party" - it was widely reported on .
he wanted to have all his family and friends around him , so they could enjoy a good time together - not such a bad idea imo .

a V.P. i worked with for many years had a plaque on his desk prominently displayed : "don't praise me at my grave - I CAN'T HEAR YOU ! "

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Jane: Well done! Which reminds me, my wife and i should make sure that we've already told our daughter. I think we have, but would have been a long time ago. It wouldn't be a bad idea to review our plans in person, even though it's written down.

Mr. H: Interesting story. I've never heard of it before.

What are your and your wife's plans?

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@Reyn,

I have an organ donor card and I hope that's respected.

They can take anything they want, and burn the rest.

I read a book a while back where people were upset when they found that donating your body won't necessarily mean your heart or eyes or whatever aren't going to go to someone, or at least parts of you may not necessarily be used towards a cure for cancer or something.

Your cells/parts might be used for cosmetic purposes, some really useless experimentation, sold off bit by bit or wholesaled along with a bunch of other cadavers. The body may be kept frozen for whatever period of time until they can use part of it. Or, no one may want/need it at all.

Doesn't bother me.

I'll tell you what I wouldn't want. I sure wouldn't want to be laid out dead with pancake makeup, stuffing put in my mouth and pumped up with chemicals to try to make it look like I wasn't dead. Personally, I don't really think people should be forming a line to look at a dead body. Especially if I really loved someone, I don't want to have to look at their corpses like that, all fake and everything. I think that's disrespectful.

If a funeral is about the living, let them have a nice memorial where they can sit around and talk.

1 Reply

@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

If a funeral is about the living, let them have a nice memorial where they can sit around and talk.

Agreed! When my mother-in-law died in 2001, there was a very nice memorial. It's not what I would want for myself, but since she had a wide circle of friends and work acquaintences, it was appropriate. The turnout was surprising for me. I had no idea that so many knew her.

For myself, I just want immediate family to have a quiet and private get-together and chat.

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@Reyn,

Reyn wrote:

Tai: What changed your mind from cremation, to burial, to donation? Just curious. I imagine that one practical advantage will be the savings of funeral-related costs when one dies. Did this enter your mind at all?

Cost is certainly a factor. I'd rather the money was spent on a party (memorial) than an expensive funeral. But really I got thinking about it when I heard a doctor interviewed on the CBC about a cadaver bank. He was from Queen's University I think and talking about the need for cadavers to train young doctors -- not just for surgery but for basic anatomy. The new virtual stuff is amazing but there's nothing like real tissue when you're learning a tricky procedure. He was saying some of the newer med schools have trouble getting cadavers (Sudbury, Thunder Bay) hence the "bank". I guess I'd like to think I helped train a doctor and like I said, if they're going to make mistakes, better on me than a live patient!

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Edgar: Have you always wanted to be buried? Have you ever given the cremation option a thought?

I have no preference. My wife is free to dispose of my carcass in any way she sees fit.

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@Reyn,

Cremation. My children can do what they want with my ashes.

No funeral or memorial unless my children feel the need for it. After all, funerals are for the living, not the dead.

$10,000 insurance policy to pay all expenses. Looking for a memorial society to reduce cremation expense.

Have a will re my assets and care of my two doggies. I'm thinking of placing my assets in a revocable trust to save my children from excessive taxes and delays.

BBB

1 Reply

@BumbleBeeBoogie,

BumbleBeeBoogie wrote:

Looking for a memorial society to reduce cremation expense.

Yes, B, we've done that as well. The other alternatives are so expensive!

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@Reyn,

I've asked, and written into my living will, that I wish to be made into a fine, rich stew and then eaten by my friends and family.

Cycloptichorn

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