5
   

Chai - a bath story - add your bit

 
 
Mame
 
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 12:15 am
Chai laid back in her tub, which was, incidentally, filled with very steamy hot water and 20 or so milk jugs full of sand (to retain the heat and displace the water, don't you know), and sighed. Ahhhh, this was the life. The water came to the top of her collarbone and she was in danger of drowning - in ecstasy. She lazily moved her left foot and bumped into a milk jug. Ouch! Hmmm... was this kerazy idea going to work? She shifted her left buttock to get more comfortable and another milk jug jostled under her hip. Hmmm and ouch again... Where was Drewdad (aka Mr. DIY) when you needed him?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 5 • Views: 2,649 • Replies: 29
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 05:03 am
Drewdad adjusted his tool belt. "I sense a nekkid woman is in trouble!"

Drewmom looked at him. "I'm not falling for that line again."
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  0  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 06:20 am
The drew-letts, dressed in their superhero outfits, came bounding out of their bedroom.

" did you say help?" they cried... eager to join dad on another quest.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 06:24 am
chai points to the brandy snifter on top of the toilet seat.

"Admission is 10 dolla, half price for kids"
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 07:22 am
@chai2,
Did you really do this, or is this just another chapter from behind the lookinglass?

Id still look to a collection of small round river rocks and a nice heavy screen over the drain so none of the rocks slip down into the trap. Then Id take a steam cleaner and heat up the rocks and only then begin dumping in the hot water. Rocks are a great heat sink and can hold the heat for a while, if properly prepared.
The rocks,in order not to become butt floss need to be maybe an inc in nominal diameter. That way they wont be uncomfortable on your tuschie.

When youre done, drain the tub, fill up a bucket with clorox solution and dump it on the rocks so that they can remain antiseptic when they dry out.
I think Kohler may even make something like this for the upscale home bath environment, (probably costs like 25 grand for a pile of rocks in a tiled over septic tank and a glass surround.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 07:28 am
@farmerman,
chai, alarmed, shrieks "Grissom, what are you doing in my bathroom!!!"

then she gets a good grip on the handle of a sand filled jug and does a round house to the head.


"wow, that sand IS hard"
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 07:49 am
@chai2,
"and DrewDad" said Chai.... I now need you to fill my jugs with asses milk...... Chai lay back in the bath, feeling like the Queen she was, when suddenly, bubbles appeared from below. As she felt around in the bath, she found something strange..... "GUS.... what the hella ya doin in my bath"...
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 07:51 am
@chai2,
"Shall we fly to the scene of Chai's distress?" Drewdad asked the super drewlette kids. "Uh, honey, see, I'm involving the children. It'll be a family outing."

"Wait. I got something in mind." Drewmom disappeared for a moment.

"Daddy!" sighed the elder drewlette. "You know you can't fly with the magic toolbelt. It's not one of your secret special superpowers!"

"I was thinking of taking Southwest Airlines." Drewdad said.

{pause for commercial break, an ad for Southwest and then an ad for Geico}

A door was flung open at the super secret Drewdad manse. A vixen in shimmering black leather and spandex appeared.

"D-d-drewmom?" Drewdad stammered.

"Mommy, can I stay up late?" asked the younger drewlette.

"You'll have to finish your homework after saving Chai."

"Oh, Mom!" sighed the drewlettes in unison.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  0  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 07:57 am
http://www.allmoviezone.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/incredibles.jpg
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 08:03 am
ass's milk?
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 08:08 am
@chai2,
<Queen Cleopatra-Chai>
Tai Chi
 
  2  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 08:25 am
@Izzie,
Izzie wrote:

<Queen Cleopatra-Chai>


Oh, I like that. Can we call you Queen Cleopatra Chai? It has a nice ring to it. Just don't get those rocks too hot or you might burn your asp.
wandeljw
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 08:43 am
@Tai Chi,
Drewdad confronts Gus.

"What are you doing here, Ratzenhofer? Trying to get a peek at Chai's milk jugs?"
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 08:45 am
@wandeljw,
Gus replied...."you leave my snake out of it! There's milk in them jugs and my ass is still lactating, enough for two baths"
Mame
 
  0  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 10:27 am
@Izzie,
Sensing the nekkid woman needed his help once again, Drewdad arrived at the Security at Southwest Airlines.

"You'll have to take off your Elton John platform shoes, your tool belt, and that crazy metal thing around your head." he was told.

"This isn't a crazy metal thing around my head," Drewdad expostulated. "It's called the DIDometer and it's the latest in super-sonic satellite tracking Damsels In Distress."

"Ah, I have one, too" replied the Security guard, "only mine is the Gus-ometer and it's great for avoiding capybara farmers."

"Quick, turn it on! Let's see if the two are in the same vicinity!" cried Drewdad.
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 10:31 am
@Mame,
As if by magic.... Bethie arrived with a metal Didometer upon her head - "Bing Bong Bing Bong" was the noise from the antennae, as she strode up to DrewDad and strobed him....
Mame
 
  0  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 11:07 am
@Izzie,
'Ah, Bethie... I'm a married man!' cried Drewdad, aroused, nonetheless.

"Drewdad, you're so gorgeous with that DID-ometer on your head! I've tried to get Set to wear one (drives me WILD) but he refuses, the stuffed shirt! Let me strobe you again, you DIY hunk, you!"

Drewdad, while still tingling from the first strobe, backed cautiously towards the door.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 11:08 am
@Izzie,
Bethie, the Security Guy, and Drewdad approached the Chai House without trepidation because of their tinfoil hats...
wandeljw
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 11:27 am
@ossobuco,
Bethie giggled.

"What's so funny?" asked Drewdad.

"I just noticed that Farmerman thought this thread was non-fiction. What a nerd!"
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Feb, 2009 06:06 pm
@wandeljw,
Meanwhile, in the tub, Chai was getting a little prune-y.

"Here, lemme massage that." Gus said. The slap of a milk jug full of hot sand barely registered as he slipped into unconsciousness.

The ass brayed.

Wally knocked on the door. "Everything all right in there?"
 

 
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