My Daddy Can Out-Masticate The Tapioca Pudding Of Your Daddy

My Daddy Can Out-Masticate The Tapioca Pudding Of Your Daddy
Mark Morford 9/26/03

Feeling his own mortality while suffering a cold, actor Tony Randall, 83, made some remarks to the National Funeral Directors Association the other day, for some reason.

Randall is best known for his role as Felix Unger in the 1970s sitcom "The Odd Couple" and for having a 6-year-old daughter by his thirtysomething wife, who is 50 years his junior, yes that's 50 years and that means his daughter will hit her teens just as dad turns 90, isn't that sweet and touching adn ultimately wrong on about twenty levels, I mean of course part of the macho gaudy male ego is all hey you go Tony what the hell right on, I hope I can find me a nice 30-year-old to wash my back when I'm 80 and hell if I can still pop sufficient Viagra to knock her up, what the hell, am I right?

As the rest of you just sits there all creeped out and grossed out and slightly sad, slightly annoyed, slightly sympathetic to the young kid who will never know her dad and never know a time when he didn't smell vaguely like dry cheese and time, and sure randall's all sweet and self-deprecating and his first wife of 40+ years died awhile ago and you can't really begrudge him happiness and a taste of youth, really, but then again, ewww.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/a/2003/09/24/national1259EDT0601.DTL&nl=fix