Probably a stupid question about "reunion" websites....

Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2008 06:01 pm
I should have asked this question before going looking but.... anyway....

I was looking for an old friend who has an odd name that starts with a lower case letter with an uppercase letter inserted midway through -- it's not one of those goofy new age names but a foreign last name. I've had a hard time locating him because, I think, his name is often misspelled or mispuncutated or missomething.

I finally found his name on a popular reunion website (not a classmates website). I'm certain it is the right person so I signed up so that I could send him a note.

I've looked all over the website looking for information on how someone is notified of a message. Do they forward a notification to the person's regular email address or does the person have to sign in to see if they have messages?

I have a feeling that if they have to sign in that they might not see the message and I will have wasted my $5 per month to write one stupid note.

Does anyone use reunion (.com)? Can you fill me in on how it works?

Robert Gentel
Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2008 06:17 pm
I consider any reunion site that charges fees to be close to a scam.

In most cases, you pay, then they try to contact the other person telling them to pay to read it. Meanwhile other sites like Facebook and Myspace have more users and you can use them for free.

Social networks haven't been around long enough for these guys to finally die off, but I'm already looking forward to it.
Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2008 06:35 pm
@Robert Gentel,
He doesn't show up on facebook.

This is the only place I've ever found him and I'm sure it's him because under "friends" it lists his relatives.

I've even searched phone books when I've visited the city I know he lives in and have never found him.
Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2008 06:43 pm
For some reason I can't remember I did one of those reunion sites once, but once the initial deal was up, I canceled it. Like both of you have said, it's kind of useless.

boom, do you mind if I tag on a related question?

I don't know anything about Facebook/Myspace etc., so this is probably a dumb question, but here goes...

while googling around I saw that someone I know has a Facebook account. I went on it, and wanted to see what all was written on there.

uh...my limited random accidental to Myspace leads me to believe people put all their pictures, conversations, music etc on there, for anyone to see.

Is Facebook different?

When I went to connect to that person, I was told I had to open my own account. I did, with a bogus name, because quite frankly, I was just being nosey.

After that, it seems all I would be able to do was join the list of friends, or send an email to this person, neither of which I want to do.....I just want to see wants on that account.

Is Facebook more of a professional type thing?
Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2008 06:48 pm
I don't mind at all Chai.

The only reason I have a facebook account is because I was looking for this same person.

I'm wondering if maybe he goes by a different name now and that's the reason he showed up on the reunion site with his family members.

It isn't manditory that I find this person, it's just someone I was very good friends, not like an old flame or anything (he's gay, I'm not) with and I'd like to know how the last 30 years have treated him.

The only other thing I've ever found is about his being an "artist in residence" at a college in his town but there was no way to contact him through there.
0 Replies
Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2008 06:50 pm
Facebook's quite different from myspace in that you can control access to your information much better (or maybe I just find it easier to manage the controls). You can even set it up so that people can't tell you've got a profile there unless/until you give them access (after they've got their own profile set up).
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Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2008 07:13 pm
I use Facebook just for the social aspects. I've only been a member for a few months but happily connected with many friends both old and not so old"just not in my every day orbit. (I work from home. Not much orbiting there.)

For my professional life, I use linkedin.com. This site has been very beneficial and I've made contact with many professional peers from as far back as twenty-five years ago. It's been a blast! And I've made some new contacts as well. There's a very strong message board and specific groups to join and communicate with.

I've been on classmates.com for several years now but refuse to pay for the extended priviledges so if a non-member like myself sends me a note, I can't read it. Only gold members can exchange notes and emails and download pictures. My cousin pulled me into reunion.com a few weeks ago but again, I'm not paying for it and it appears to be even more limited.

They can become addictive. I'm online way too much these days. But being self-employed, alot of my time is spent networking and doing research. linked.in is great if you want to know about a particular company and who you might know who works for that company or someone you know who knows someone else who works there. It's amazing, especially if you've been in business for awhile, to discover such valuable contacts that you never even knew you had.
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Region Philbis
Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 10:04 am
keep checking FB.
as word of mouth spreads, more and more people will join.

i've found old friends on there i haven't spoken to in over 30 years.
even found my 6th grade teacher... Smile
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Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 12:09 pm
I've been spending my time on facebook lately. And it is great. It has enough privacy features that someone as "shy" as me can be pretty sure that only people that actually know me see what I let my freinds see.
And in the past month, I've seen alot of my freinds, now and old, join. So it seems to be spreading crazily.
I have the free membership on Classmates. I even have messages that people have left me there, but can't read them because I refuse to pay for the annoying membership. I went there the other day and left a note saying to find me on facebook.

I don't know the answer to your question about reunion. But on classmates, if someone leaves me a message, I get an email telling me so. It also tells me the name of the person leaving the message. I can't read the message, but I have looked on facebook to see if these people have joined yet...
Region Philbis
Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 12:37 pm
I went there the other day and left a note saying to find me on facebook.
that's a very good idea...
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Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 02:59 pm
Yeah, I'm happy with the privacy controls on Facebook. For example, when I post pictures, I can choose to let everyone see them, let only my friends' friends see them, or let only my friends see them.

Nobody can become my friend without my approval -- they can send a friend request, but I have to accept it.

I'm enjoying Facebook a lot, connecting with a lot of long-lost friends. I've moved around so much that there are a lot of them -- people I know and like but haven't had any contact with for a while.

I love the incidental aspect -- for example, a good friend of mine from high school and I always appreciated each others' style, swapped clothes, etc. She posts a lot of photos and it's interesting to see what she's wearing these days (I like all of it, much cooler than me now though). All the way to incidentally finding out that a relative of sorts (complicated, basically she was my cousin for a few years when I was a kid, then disappeared) is dying of cancer (she's my age). I was able to send off an email to her.
Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 02:59 pm
Oh and Classmates sucks. I hate those "you got a new message" emails and then "you can read this message if you pay us!" crap.
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Reply Wed 31 Dec, 2008 07:46 pm
Ohmygosh! I still haven't found "Greg" but I did find "Karen" on Facebook!

I met Karen in the 2nd grade and she was my friend forever - when I was in college she was was working but we rented an apartment together. We seperated for a few years then later rented an apartment together again. A tragedy, a real tragedy, finally dealt a blow to our friendship that made it hard to repair. The tragedy wasn't between us but it was something that shut her down for quite some time.

We kept in touch, sort of, for years, through mutal friends, but I probably haven't "spoken" to her in about six or seven years.

It makes me smile just thinking of her.

Thanks for suggesting giving Facebook another try everyone!
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