How fast are your reactions?

@Robert Gentel,

I'm a bobcat, but I din't shoot no good guys...

@Rockhead,

Ima armadillo 0.4482

(need to zzz too)

0 Replies

I'm a bobbing bobcat.

I hated that little ****** that would lift up his head as if to bolt.

Cost me 3 seconds at one time.

Does that again, I'll bash his brains in.

see if I don't

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http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/804/picture1gt7.png

1 Reply

I see no reason to tranquilize the poor sheep. Why doesn't the farmer have a herding dog? Those tranquilizers will wind up in our food supply causing sickness. I refuse to be a party to this inhumanity.

1 Reply

@NickFun,

yeah.
Why waste good drugs eh?

0 Replies

@Robert Gentel,

I'm a premature etranquilizer, dammit.

0 Replies

@CalamityJane,

CalamityJane wrote:

I'd HEARD that your first sheep is the best.

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Yeah, with the first sheep you're probably most alert - after that you get "trigger" happy.

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

I feel SOOOOOOO misunderstood.

1 Reply

@dlowan,

For us non-native speakers, you always have to spell it out - otherwise we
don't get the joke - sorry!

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

Erm.....I suspect this is an international joke.

First love is the deepest...

1 Reply

@dlowan,

dlowan wrote:

Erm.....I suspect this is an international joke.

Kinda, but "ewe-phemisms" are much more common in your neck of the woods than anywhere else.

"Shouldn't you be shearing the sheep instead?"

"I'm not shearing this sheep with anyone!"

1 Reply

@Robert Gentel,

That is a New Zillun accent, you wally!

Hey...I just got one of the little smeggers at 0.00 seconds!

1 Reply

@dlowan,

Yeah, and that's an Australian joke making fun of them.

1 Reply

@Robert Gentel,

That's a universal joke where everyone makes fun of everybody else.

The names of the players just change depending on where you are.

1 Reply

@dlowan,

Yeah, but for most of the world that I've been to the butt of that joke is Australia.

Australia is famous for sheep, you have more sheep than people, and while there are other targets of sheep humor around the world (like the Welsh) the majority I've seen were about Australians.

Quote:

So, there is a guy in his final year at University, and he decides to do a thesis on Sheep Shagging. (Strange behaviour, considering he was studying Electronics ... but, never mind ... I digress).

He calls upon a Surrey Sheep Farmer to ask his opinions.

'Well, I gets the hind legs ... stuffs them into me wellies ... and then takes them from behind. That's it.'

'Oh, thank you' says the student, taking copious notes along with sketches etc.

Next he visits a farm down in Dorset.

'What are your view on sheep shagging?' he asks boldly.

'Well, you've got to take the hind legs, stuff them into the wellingtons, and then take the sheep from behind. That's all there is to it'

'Oh. Thank you very much for your information' the student replies, once again scribbling away in his notebook.

The Student, intent on finding out the most about sheep shagging from farmers far and wide, visits Wales.

'How do you sheep shag?' he confronts one farmer.

And once again he gets the same reply. 'Take the hind legs. Stuff them into the wellingtons. Give the sheep one from behind.'

Scottish farmers gave The Student the same answer. Maybe it was something to do with Great Britain or something ... so he travels to Europe.

All across Greece, Turkey, Italy, Austria, France ... no matter where he went he got the same answer 'Take the hind legs. Stuff them into the wellingtons. Take the sheep from behind.'

The Student began to get depressed. No matter where he went, would he ever get a different answer? Surely there must be someone, somewhere, that shagged sheep differently.

He travelled to the Southern Hemisphere.

At New Zealand he obtained the same answer to the same question.

'Take the hind legs. Stuff them into the wellingtons. Take the sheep from behind.'

Finally he manages to find a small outback farm in the middle of Australia. He approaches the sheep farmer and explains his predicament. Gladly the Australian sheep farmer explains his method.

'Well, you get the sheep; throw it on its back; spread its legs and then do the business.'

'Eh? ... ' replied The Student, incredulously. 'You don't put the legs in the wellingtons and take the sheep from behind?'

'WHAT!?', says the Aussie Farmer ... 'And miss out on all the kissing??!!!

1 Reply

@Robert Gentel,

Lol!

Well, we do have a lot of sheep....though a lot less now that we are turning into desert.

In my sector of the planet, it is, of course, mainly New Zealanders who are the butt. But European village shepherds are right in there, too.

And, unusually, re the New Zillunders, we not only get to out-number them, but most of them seem to live here. Wink

I have heard variants of that joke a million times, but that punch line is a new one.

I still kind of hate myself for laughing at such jokes, though...I never heard any variant of an animal sex joke until I was in my twenties, and I was horrified.

They ought not to be funny again now I am working with a population where such behaviour is something I actually have to help a few of my very traumatised clients not to continue with.

But your sheep tempted me.

Actually, YOU were the temptor.

0 Replies

0.1566 sec..
I'm a freaking rabbit.

1 Reply

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