11
   

Marriage Is for White People

 
 
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 04:41 am
@Merry Andrew,

on the other hand, my interracial marriage experience bears out the point of the article- my husband's African-American foster family - he was born out of wedlock and abandoned in the hospital and raised in foster care-sort of like the poster child for this article as a matter of fact- wouldn't have batted an eyelash if I'd turned up pregnant and we hadn't gotten married.

We'd have received a very different response from my family if that'd been the scenario. Isn't that what the article is saying?

But I don't think marriage isn't happening as much in the black communities because the women are independent and wish to stay that way.

I know the young black women I worked with in my job last year spoke really wistfully of having a husband and family - they did seem to aspire to that ideally- but at the same time, I could hear in their voices that they didn't think it was available to them.

When they spoke about it- it almost seemed that they saw it as some fairy tale that they just weren't even in the running for- and for some of them- though they spoke about it with real bitterness- they'd seen what their mothers and grandmothers had been through- I also got the sense that if they could believe that they really could be the recipient of a committed proposal from a responsible guy who'd be a partner with them in taking care of their children and home- they'd jump at it.

What I heard them saying is that in their community that doesn't seem to be a realistic option very often.

I think it's boring to boil us all down to one race- yes-in terms of how we should all be treated and treat each other we're humans. But I'd rather notice and observe and learn from and enjoy all the racial and cultural differences than look at in such simple terms that I miss or erase all the interesting nuances.
0 Replies
 
Miller
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 08:49 am
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:

Black women make it very clear that they don't need men, they are all about being strong and in many ways masculine. the natural consequence is for black men to have no desire to stick around, and they don't.

Black women bitching and moaning about black men is a pet peeve of mine, as the problem is largely created by black women.


Oprah, Condi Rice, Valerie Jarrett...just to name a few.
0 Replies
 
Miller
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 08:49 am
@Seed,
Seed wrote:

What ever happened to marrying for love?


Good point...Where has love gone?
0 Replies
 
Miller
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 08:52 am
@cicerone imposter,
cicerone imposter wrote:

There are also men in their thirties and forties who are single and will remain single.


And as a result will die at an early age.

Men should get married in order to prolong their lives.
Miller
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 08:53 am
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:

it does not matter what Miller's agenda is, the problem with black families is clear, has been around for a long time, and is subject to debate. Blacks often claim that whites can't talk about problems in the black community, that it is none of white people business, but they are clearly wrong. All too often a2kers get sidetracked by trying to guess at the motives of the posters, rather than dealing with the posts.....we should knock this off, it is not a productive use of energy.


You're right .
0 Replies
 
Miller
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 09:00 am
@Merry Andrew,
Merry Andrew wrote:

Quote:
The biggest thing society needs is not to have a distinction between a black community and a white community. Should just be a community of people!


Amen.


And when will that be?

0 Replies
 
Foofie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 11:48 am
@Miller,
Miller wrote:

cicerone imposter wrote:

There are also men in their thirties and forties who are single and will remain single.


And as a result will die at an early age.

Men should get married in order to prolong their lives.


The supposed statistical evidence that married men live longer may be a false correlation. There can be other reasons that married men live longer statistically. One being that to get married, and live with a women, it might just attract the men of stronger constitutions, since men remember as a boy that their female relatives may not have always agreed with them, and life could be fraught with friction with another female. Extrapolation would indicate the same can happen with a wife. Only the strong, and those with thick skins can survive a marriage, I believe.

Also, being married may just lead to healthier habits and lifestyle, since marriage may make many men aware that they do not want their children, wife, etc. to grieve for them, so risky behavior may be curtailed greater than the risky behavior of some single males.

Personally, I believe the wrong woman (in a marriage) can bury a man, while the right woman (in marriage) can keep a man alive for a long time. Today's women may not pander all the time to the male ego, that prior generations of women did. This can shorten a man's life, I believe.

Needless to say, the above holds true for men. So, society may just have us trying to replicate "a marriage made in heaven," and that is hard to do, I believe.
0 Replies
 
cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 12:17 pm
Kay Jewelers seems to think that now Obama is president and is a married family man, that it is all about to change. Seen their TV ads lately?

I'm pretty sure what demographic they're aiming at, but it's a longshot.
Foofie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 12:43 pm
@cjhsa,
cjhsa wrote:

Kay Jewelers seems to think that now Obama is president and is a married family man, that it is all about to change. Seen their TV ads lately?

I'm pretty sure what demographic they're aiming at, but it's a longshot.


I think the demographic might just be a cross-section of the U.S., since the Obamas appear to have a marriage that is sort of reminiscent, I believe, of the romantic 1950's. I would guess that many people would like to replicate the level of warmth and concern that the Obamas, as a family, project to the world.

Look, I voted for McCain, but the more I listen to Obama, and see who he is appointing to his cabinet, the more I think he is not going to be the President that he might have projected in his campaign. I think he will surprise many Democrats. I also think he will pleasantly surprise many Republicans.

Do your posts have only one or two themes?

cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 01:04 pm
@Miller,
Their choice.
0 Replies
 
cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2008 01:30 pm
@Foofie,
Foofie wrote:

Do your posts have only one or two themes?




Do you only watch one or two channels?
0 Replies
 
 

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