Misti26- I am having a terrible time getting out of the shadow of my mother. She was always a very weak person, who taught me that the world was a fearful place, and that we were not very competent.
It took me years to get away from that life view. Now she is 93, and I am HER mother. As strong as I am, she can still push my buttons. This afternoon, she said, "I can't" one time too often over some silly thing, and I blew. Poor thing, I really gave it to her, with both barrels.
I told her right out that she taught me to be afraid, and that I couldn't do things, and that I have learned that she was dead wrong. It was mean. I should have had that discussion with her 30 years ago, when she could defend herself.
Phoenix, I'm glad you told your mother that. I think what we learn while we live we take with us wherever we go after. Maybe she never knew what she was, taught you. She probably just tried to hold on to you, keep you afraid so you wouldn't leave her. I see a lot of parents keeping their kids around through use of religion, telling them everybody outside the "family" is out-to-get-them.
Hope you're not still kickin yourself, Phoenix.
(((((BIG HUGS)))))
