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Let's say you're a chicken.

 
 
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 12:21 pm
What do you think you're life would be like?

The life of a free-range chicken doesn't sound too bad, as chicken lives go. Yeah, out there in the wilderness, livin' free on the farm...I'd rather be a rooster than a hen, of course. Hens do things like feather nests and lay eggs all day. Creating new life. BO-RING! Roosters get to date a LOT of different hens, and a lot of their time is spent sleeping. That is, when they aren't fighting and screwing.

Speaking of fighting, I wonder if the cock-fighting chicken is a revered chicken warrior hero in the world of the chickens; a noble, battle-scarred gamecock gladiator that never compromises and never relents. In a violent world where lives are short, and the farmer could chop off any chicken's head at any moment, the gamecock must be revered, don't you think?

If I were a chicken I don't think I'd want to be a gamecock though. It would cause a lot of unnecessary tension in my life. Yes, the free-range way is more my style. As a free-range rooster I'd get to protect my ladies, fight with other roosters at my leisure, and piss of the humans by waking them up with my crowing at all hours of the night or day. Not bad.

The only thing that could be better, I imagine, would be to be a wild chicken. A real wild chicken, out in the natural world with my little hen-harem, making due for myself and experiencing life on the other side of the road, so to speak. A self-made chicken. Doing it just to get to the other side. Does that type of lifestyle choice even exist? If so, then I'd want to be a self-made chicken.

So let's say you're a chicken. What kind of chicken life would you want?
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Type: Question • Score: 11 • Views: 2,622 • Replies: 28
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 12:38 pm
@kickycan,
You're a chicken.
shewolfnm
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 01:01 pm
@kickycan,
Wouldnt you rather spend life as a gorilla?

I mean, they have HUGE amounts of testosterone ....... are allowed to be aggressive all day....... screw any woman monkey they want...... eat food others gather......... have female monkeys groom them all day...

I mean.
Wow.
A wonderful life of beating your chest and living by the motto **** it or Kill it.
If you cant **** it
then kill it
If you cant kill it
**** it

Very Happy
chai2
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 01:24 pm
@shewolfnm,
I'd like to be a giant squid.

They're all like, giant and everything, and can change colors really really fast.

Also, they've got an eye as big as a basketball.

Giant squid is the way to go.
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 02:11 pm
@kickycan,
Turtles and elephants have long lives; whether that's good or bad is the q.
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 02:15 pm
@cicerone imposter,
A pampered pooch has to be the most perfect of existances. Food handed to you on a platter, water too. Get petted and groomed. Sleep anytime you want. Chase the ball, but only if you feel like it. Hump a leg now and then. Life is good.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 02:50 pm
@edgarblythe,
Sounds like an Ideal Existence. LOL
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 02:59 pm
@kickycan,
Quote:
The only thing that could be better, I imagine, would be to be a wild chicken.

Every now and then we get some dumb chicken that will not go in the coop at night. Average life span - three days. Everything loves chicken.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 03:27 pm
@kickycan,
What ? Did you just see "Chicken Run"?
http://www.radio-quality.co.uk/images/chicken_run.jpg
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 03:33 pm
I think I'm some gorgeous bird, at least gorgeous in flight if perhaps not so in terrestrial circumstances. But of course, some a2ker would shoot me..
0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 04:09 pm
The domesticed chicken is reckoned to be the descendent of the Junglefowls of Asia. Amazingly they are from the same family as Pheasants (wrong side of the tracks sort of thing I guess).

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/75/Red_junglefowl_hm.jpg

This is a chicken's chicken!! (that is so not right). They are territorial, can fly and kick serious poultry ass during the mating session (check out the spur on the male.

This is a magnificant beast of chickendom!! Kick Col Sanders shrivelled up old cojones into orbit.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  0  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 04:26 pm
I wanna be a do do bird
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 04:29 pm
@shewolfnm,
I saw that as doo doo bird...
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 04:50 pm
@DrewDad,
Quote:
You're a chicken. Mr. Green


Just dont call me SHirley.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 04:58 pm
@farmerman,
How 'bout Betty?
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 05:05 pm
@kickycan,
http://members.aol.com/cbbaassn/Craig.jpg
Kicky looking very dashing as a chicken
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 05:40 pm
@Reyn,
Damn, kicky, you're a fine-lookin' chicken. I like the cut of your feather. I mean, jib.
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 05:46 pm
@jespah,
His waddle is off-color.
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 06:20 pm
@edgarblythe,
Wattle, the word is wattle. Still, never misunderestimate the humble chicken...

http://blog.peta2.com/Col_Sanders_Choked.JPG
squinney
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Oct, 2008 06:55 pm
@kickycan,
Park duck.

No one can beat the life of a park duck. A nice combination of "leave me alone and let me be wild. No wait! I mean AFTER you throw me some food."

 

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